Letting It All Go
by DustNight25832
Summary: Draco is grieving over the recent loss of his wife, Astoria. Hermione was there when the death happened and might just be the only one that can save him from himself. But Hermione has some demons of her own to deal with.  Will they be able to save each other, or will disaster ensue?
1. Ain't No Sunshine

Draco is grieving over the loss of his wife. Hermione might just be the only one that can save him. Will he let her into his heart, or will he be taken over the heartache?

**Author's Note**: I actually dreamt this one night and thought that it might make a good fic. It's different than what I normally write but I thought I might give it a try. I know I said I wasn't going to write anything else while working on my other fic, but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. I guess I'll be working on both now!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter One: Ain't No Sunshine

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"_Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.  
It's not warm when she's away.  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away" -Bill Withers_

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Hermione sighed. She could finally go home. She rolled her shoulders trying to loosen up a bit. She had been working in the hospital for over twenty four hours now. Some Healer had called off sick and she had ended up pulling a double, only catching a few hours sleep in the on call room here and there. She walked down the hall past her rooms full of now comfortable patients. Her relief was due any minute and she could absolutely not wait to get the hell out of here for a while. The beeping of the monitors and the sound of wheels from hospital beds squeaking down the hall were definitely on her nerves.

Speaking of her nerves; they were shot. There had been not one, not two, but _three_ massive magic incidents in the past twenty four hours causing St. Mungo's to be more hectic than usual. Hermione reached the nurses' station, smiled at the head nurse who handed her some papers to sign, and ran a hand through her hair. It quickly got tangled in her obviously frazzled hair. She sighed once again and put down her quill. She quickly pulled her hair back and resumed signing her forms. She handed them back to the nurse who filed them quickly. Hermione put her charts away in the correct bins and waved goodbye to the nurse.

She briskly walked down the hall to the locker room. Upon entering she was glad to see that it was empty. She was so exhausted she had no desire to try and come up with some small talk with her fellow Healers. Not that she didn't like them, she did…but after such a long shift she wanted nothing more than to go home. When she turned the corner to her locker she was surprised to see a note taped on the outside. It read:

_Hermione,_

_Thank you for pulling a double. Please take the next four days off as repayment. We are over staffed the next few days, and you deserve the small break. Have a relaxing time off!_

_Chief Healer, _

_Devon_

Hermione rolled her eyes. She knew exactly why she received the extra days off…it was because if she didn't get enough sleep she would be a liability. Oh, and she was one of the highest paid Healers at the hospital. She frowned…she did need the times off though. She was beyond tired and it had been over a week since she'd spent time with the kids.

She opened her locker so she could change, crumbling the note in her hand as she did so. She tossed the note into a garbage can at the bottom and began changing. She removed her white lab coat and hung it on the hook as she slipped off her non slip white shoes. She pulled her top off, and dropped her pants, and then threw the scrubs into the hamper for cleaning. She quickly pulled on her favorite jeans, which were quickly followed by her faded, gray Hogwarts sweatshirt. She swapped her work shoes for some flip flops.

Grabbing her purse from the top shelf she decided to take a look in the mirror; she looked awful. Her eyes were tired looking and slightly bloodshot. She had bags under eyes and she could use some sun. Her hair was far from manageable at this point, so it would just have to stay in the messy bun she had put it in minutes ago. She shut the locker in disgust.

She rummaged through her purse looking for her cell phone. She and Harry had made all their friends and family get one in order the stay in touch. It was a lot easier than trying to floo all the time. She quickly found Ron's number and hit send. She wanted to see if she could pick up Rose and Hugo tomorrow so they could spend the night. She pinched the bridge of her nose as the phone went to voicemail. Ron never answered her calls; he always let her leave a message first.

"Ron, it's me. I've got an extra couple of days off, so I was wondering if I could pick up the kids tomorrow to spend a few nights. I had to pull a double so I'm just leaving the hospital now. Please give me a call back to let me know. Talk to you soon."

She turned the volume up and shoved the phone back into her purse. She and Ron had been divorced for nearly four years now. They had gotten divorced the year Hugo had gone to Hogwarts. They had both been unhappy for a while, but had wanted to wait to separate until both kids were in school. They didn't want them to be home during the divorce process. Surprisingly, both their friends and the kids had been accepting of the separation.

Currently, Rose and Hugo had a few weeks left before heading back to school on September first so Hermione thought it would be a great occasion to spend time together. The children lived with Ron most of the time because of her crazy schedule, and Hermione lived in a flat in Diagon Alley. They had bedrooms at her place. The kids typically spent a good deal of time at her flat during their holidays, but they also split their time with Ron. He probably had the children more than she did, but only because she worked so much.

Maybe she could even help them buy their school supplies. That was an idea. They could spend the time shopping in Diagon Alley and catching up. Rose would be going into her seventh year, and Hugo his fifth. Hermione furrowed her brow, _where had the time gone?_ Rose had received her letter just last week informing her that she was to be Head Girl, and Hugo had made Prefect. Hermione smiled. She and Ron had done such a good job with the two of them, even with the divorce.

Hermione shouldered her purse as she left the locker room and headed down the hall smiling at patients and nurses as she went. She reached the nurse's station, "Alright, Abigail, I'm out of here. See you in a few days." Abigail, the head nurse, smiled cheerfully, "Sounds great! Go get some sleep! You deserve it!" Hermione gave a little wave. _You have no idea…_

She continued down the hall. She could see the evaluator. All she had to do was get on and ride down to the first floor where she could floo home to her apartment. She'd be home in five minutes. And even better, a woman had just hit the button. The elevator would arrive just as she reached it.

The waiting room area was just a few paces from the nurses' station, but on the opposite side. Hermione glanced into it as she began to walk by. At first it appeared empty, which was a great sign, but then she saw him. He was sitting in the far corner. Hermione stopped walking, her heart dropping into the pit of her stomach.

_Oh no…not again. He's here __**again**__._

In the corner sat Draco Malfoy. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, and his face was in his hands. It had been over a month since he had been here last. Hermione distantly heard the elevator beep with arrival, the scurry of people hustling on and off, and the beep signaling it was leaving. Draco looked much thinner than the last time she had seen him…and paler too. He had always been a light skinned fellow, but this was different; unhealthy. He wore a simple black button up top and a faded pair of jeans; both were much baggier than they should have been.

Hermione took a deep breath and turned back around. She marched over to Abigail, "How long has he been there this time?" She motioned with her hand to the waiting room. Abigail looked confused at first, but realization finally hit her; eyes going wide.

"He's still there?" She shook her head, "I thought he had left last night. He wasn't there for a long while, and we've been so busy I guess I didn't notice he came back." Abigail looked upset at her carelessness. But their floor _had_ been busy. Hermione couldn't be angry with her.

"It's fine. We should probably call for a Psyche Healer to come and get him again." Abigail nodded and picked up the receiver. Hermione turned her attention back to the blond haired fellow, her brows coming together. Why had he come back again after being away from the hospital for so long? It just didn't make sense. He had been doing so well…or so they all had thought.

Nearly eight months ago Draco had watched his wife pass away, right in front of his eyes, here in this hospital. It had been a terribly sad thing to watch. He had clearly loved his wife with all of his heart. For weeks after her death they would find him sitting the waiting room either crying or simply staring into space. It was ok at first, he was grieving, but then it began to become a problem. Day after day he would be here. They had started calling Psyche for him. It had worked, or so they had thought. Now here he was, back again.

"Ernie will be right down…"Abigail's voice stopped Hermione's train of thought. She nodded and began walking towards Draco. He didn't sense her approach so she kept moving forward. She sat in a chair near his. She knew he felt her presence now. His shoulders had tensed.

She cleared her throat, "Malfoy, what are you doing back here?" She was trying to speak as gently as possible. She didn't want him to be any more upset than he, clearly, already was. He picked his face up out of his hands, "Granger, it hurts. I came to be near her."

Hermione frowned and placed her hand on his knee, "They've called Psyche again. You shouldn't be here. It's not healthy." He took his hands and ran them over his face then through his hair, shaking his head. "I can't go back up there. Not this time. Not ever again. It doesn't help…only makes it worse."

She nodded in understanding. She got up and went back to the nurse's station. Just as she got there Ernie Macmillan, Head of Psyche, was walking down the hall. They smiled sadly at one another. "Where is he? The usual seat?" Abigail leaned over the desk, "Yeah, in the corner." Ernie headed over. In a second he had bolted back, "He's not there…"

"Shit!" Hermione flung her purse behind the counter and raced towards the waiting room. Sure enough it was once again empty. She turned around and ran back towards Abigail. She looked startled. Ernie had gone down the hall to check the room Astoria had passed away in. He came back shaking his head. Where the hell had he gone that fast? In realization Hermione's eyes went wide. She pivoted and ran for the stair case. She bounded up the stairs until she reached the roof. She was panting from the exertion as she flung the door open.

There he was, just like she had found him many times before. This time was different though, he wasn't sitting against the wall by the door. She wanted to sigh in relief when she finally spotted him, but instead she inhaled sharply. Draco was standing with his back facing her staring straight down at the Muggle road below. Hermione could hear the traffic. She swallowed hard, "Malfoy?" She tried again when she received no answer, taking a few steps forward, "Draco…what are you doing up here?" She was still trying to catch her breath.

"Saying goodbye."

_No. No. No. No. No! _This was not happening. Not under her watch! Hermione walked towards him even more. "Draco, you can't jump down there. You'll never survive." She was close enough now to see that tears were streaming down his face. His eyes looked raw. Her heart broke just by the sight of him.

He smiled sadly at the traffic below, "I can't do this anymore, Granger. Every day…_every_ damn day I wake up without her and _every_ damn day I hate myself. She was my sunshine…she kept me going. She saved me from myself. She changed who I was. I became a real person because of her, and now she's just _gone_…just like _that_. She's gone because of who I used to be. Even torching the Manor proved fruitless…I still feel the pain from her being gone."

Hermione bit her lip. She didn't quite know what to say. Where the _hell_ was Ernie? Why hadn't he followed up here? She was slightly out of her element. Suicide was not something she had ever dealt with before. And Draco had gone through such a horrible loss no wonder he felt he couldn't take it.

Ernie had told her what had happened. Draco's wife, Astoria Greengrass, had loved being a Slytherin, but she hated that the Malfoy Manor was done in nothing but Slytherin colors and décor. So after months of begging Draco finally allowed his wife to redecorate. Why did he care anyway? His parents had moved to their chateau in France after the war and had no plans of coming back. The Manor could surely use a pick me up, and Astoria was perfect for the job.

The remodeling started last year after the happy couple had dropped Scorpius off at the train station. Astoria had worked hard over the next few months completely changing the color scheme of each room to satisfy her. Draco didn't have much input, he simply was happy that his wife found so much joy in making their home beautiful. When Scorpius had come home for the holidays he was thrilled at the changes. They had the happiest holidays they'd had in years. The Manor no longer looked depressing and, well, evil.

The day he returned to Hogwarts was when it happened. Draco and Astoria had returned home. It was a bitter cold day and all Draco wanted to do was sit in his study with a warm cup of tea and read a book in front of the fire. Astoria had kissed the top of his head and left him to relax. She wanted to work on the upstairs now. As she left the room Draco kissed her hand and she gave him a simple smile.

All was quiet in the Manor for a while. Draco had just gotten a fresh cup of tea and settled back in his favorite chair when he heard it. There was a deafening blast, a shatter of glass, and a blood curdling scream that could only belong to his beloved. He bolted from the room; his tea cup clattering to the floor, and his book nearly flying into the fire. He ran down the hall, up the grand staircase, and into the first room on the left: his father's old study.

His heart was beating wildly. There was a black fog in the room that quickly cleared with a wave of his wand. On the floor was Astoria. She was clutching her chest. She had small cuts all over her arms. She had obviously covered her face because there was nothing there. She was bleeding severely from her chest and abdomen. Draco fell to his knees next to her, "Astoria…what happened?"

She was having a hard time staying conscious, "Draco, I tried opening that cabinet and it exploded. I protected my face, but it shot glass at me. It was cursed!" Draco felt nauseous. He should never have let her try and come into this room on her own. His father had let the Dark Lord use it. Of _course_ the entire thing was probably cursed!

Draco knew he had to act fast. He picked his wife up and apparated them to St. Mungo's. Within moments Astoria was in one of the emergency rooms. Hermione Granger was demanding he tell her exactly what happened. As he retold the story to her he never took his eyes off of his wife. She had finally gone unconscious and looked dreadfully pale against the white sheets…never a good thing.

This part Hermione knew on her own. She had tried everything to stop the bleeding, but after she would close the wounds they would reopen. After a closer examination of the cuts she found tiny moon shaped pieces of glass in each wound. She would have to get Astoria to an ER and FAST! After hours of surgery all the glass was removed from her body. Astoria was not out of the clear just yet. She would have to be watched closely. You never knew the after effects of a Dark spell until days later.

As the days crept by, Astoria seemed to be on the mend. Scorpius and Draco came to see her every day. Hermione was going to send her home at the end of the week if all was well. When she had arrived Friday morning she decided to check on her patient first thing. She smiled as she entered the room. She was just about to say good morning when a horrible sight met her eyes. She chocked on her words and ran to the bed.

Astoria was a pale green and she was barely breathing. Hermione had no idea what had happened. She was fine the day before! She had Abigail notify Draco and tried to do everything she could. Nothing was working. No healing spells seemed to stop the decrease of health. Astoria couldn't even talk! The only thing that made sense as the reason to what was happening was that the little shards of glass had somehow been coated in an undetectable and slow acting poison. Not knowing about it before, there was nothing she could do. _Astoria was going to die._

Hermione allowed Draco and Scorpius to sit with her until the end. Draco had screamed in agony when she passed away and poor Scorpius held onto his mother's hand and cried silently. She felt such sorrow for the pair. She wished there had been something more she could have done. Even after his death, Voldemort was _still_ ruining lives.

Now, as Hermione stood on the roof of St. Mungo's she knew she had to stop Draco from leaving this world. "Draco, you have Scorpius. If you leave him, he'll be alone! Where is he? I can call him here."

Draco, never taking his eyes from the road below, replied, "He's with my parents in France." Hermione's mind was reeling. What the _hell_ was she going to do? Suddenly it occurred to her. He felt this was his fault. He thought the whole damn thing was his fault. He was blaming himself! "Draco, this isn't your fault. There was nothing any of us could do. Believe me, if there had been a way, I would have saved her. None of us could have known about that poison…only the person who created the curse on that cabinet did."

"Granger, I have done so many horrible things to people in my life…I can't do it anymore. I mean, just think of all the things I've done to you…I'm nothing but a waste. I can't live with this guilt anymore." He looked back at the road. Hermione's heart was beating so loud she was surprised he couldn't hear it.

She swallowed hard, "Draco, look, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago for everything that happened. We're adults now; there is no need to dwell on happenings from so long ago." She reached out to him. He allowed her to put her hand on his shoulder. She squeezed gently, "Come away from there. You have so much to live for; your son, parents, and friends."

He looked her in the eye. She felt that she might have gotten through to him. He looked at her hand and placed his own overtop of it. He had turned away from the edge of the roof. She sighed, hoping it had worked, "You forgave me?" He inquired with a tilt of his head. She nodded, "Of course." _Please let this have worked…_

"Scorpius." It was just the name, but she knew he wanted to live for him and that made her extremely happy. They weren't out of the woods yet. Draco needed somewhere safe to stay; someplace where he could be watched. She knew Draco had nowhere to go because he had previously torched the Malfoy Manor in hopes of destroying everything evil. He would refuse to stay in the Psyche ward…

_It's the only option…_

"Come stay with me for a while. I know you have no place to stay right now…come stay at my flat. I have plenty of room." He was thinking hard, she could tell. He never took his eyes off of hers. He finally nodded. "Excellent. We can get you set up today. Let's go." She gave him a gentle push towards the stairs.

When they were back at the nurse's station Ernie and Abigail looked relieved. Hermione grabbed her purse while quickly explaining the situation. She had asked Draco to wait by the elevator. She just wanted to get home. It had been an unbelievably tiring day and it was only seven in the morning. She and Draco took the elevator to the floo room. Hermione could only think one thing…

_What the hell am I getting myself into?_

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*Ok that's it, the first chapter. Please tell me what you think! I now allow anonymous reviews…but if you want to give me criticism, make sure it is **constructive**! I will update my other fic soon!*

Julie


	2. Beautiful Disaster

**Author's Note**: So very sorry about the delay on this. Hopefully you all don't hate me! This past year was crazy and then I wanted to finish _In the Heart of the Storm_ but I am done with that, _nearly_, and ready to continue on this! Also, be on the lookout for updates on my new fic, _Renewal_, as well. My creative juices just keep flowing! Enjoy! And a shout-out to my Beta, StoneFeather30135! Thank you for reading through this craziness for me!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot. And I definitely don't get paid. Ugh.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Two: Beautiful Disaster

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"_He's as damned as he seems and more heaven than a heart could hold.  
And if I try to save him, my whole world could cave in." – Kelly Clarkson_

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They arrived in Hermione's living room. She quickly cleaned the soot off of them with a spell and stepped into the room; Draco followed. She motioned to the vibrant white couch in the center of the room, "Have a seat while I go and prepare a room for you. It will only take me a few moments." She watched as he sat down and placed his hands on his knees. He looked utterly lost and depressed. She only hoped that spending some time here would help him.

She walked down the hallway to the very end. On the right was a door that led to her study; she would have to convert it into a bedroom for now. She entered and looked around trying to decide what she could do with it. The walls were bookshelves full to near capacity. She had collected many books over the years. The floor was a dark hard wood and there was a matching desk in the left corner. On top of the desk were a few stacks of papers, quills, and her lap top computer. She allowed herself many Muggle luxuries seeing as she was Muggleborn. On the right side of the room were a red velvet couch and a coffee table that came with the desk. She transfigured the couch into a single bed for Draco and the coffee table into a dresser which she levitated to the front of the room. They would have to get some clothes for him since he would be staying a while.

When she was satisfied with the room she exited and entered the bathroom across the hall. The room was done in pale yellow and white. The shower had a white curtain with yellow daisies on it. Hermione frowned; the bathroom was a bit girly, but he would have to deal. She set to work cleaning it up and making sure there were men type toiletries. She even set out a stack of fresh white towels for Draco to use. She and the kids had a bathroom upstairs so Draco could have this one for his own personal use. She would have to remind the kids not to disturb it, but she was sure he wouldn't mind either way. Hermione yawned as she turned off the light and headed back towards the living room. She needed to get some sleep soon or she was going to simply be sick.

She smiled upon entering the living room; Draco was still sitting on the couch, but he was staring at her wall mounted television with a very confused look upon his face. He heard her enter and turned his body to face her, "What is that?" Hermione smiled and walked over to it. She picked up the remote and turned it on. Draco jumped a bit and then sputtered, "What the devil? How did you do that?" Hermione turned it off, "It's a television. You can watch shows on it. There are all kinds of shows. You can watch the news, dramas, movies, and many other things. It's a Muggle invention. I can teach you how to use it if you want. I have a lot of other Muggle appliances in the flat that you might like as well."

Draco seemed unsure of whether or not to trust Hermione and her Muggle objects, but he must have come to some sort of conclusion in his head because he nodded and looked again at the television. Hermione smiled to herself; she was going to have a good time showing Draco how to use the Muggle objects. It would be good for the Pureblood wizard to learn the ways of a Muggleborn. It might help him with the situation at hand as well…maybe it would help him get his mind off of his depression. There was no around it; Draco Malfoy was depressed and if she didn't do something to help him other people would, and she was certain that Draco would not comply willingly to that.

"Ok, Draco, let me show you where you'll be sleeping and give you a mini tour of the place. I want you to feel completely at home here. Anything here you have access to." Hermione motioned for him to follow her from the living room down the hallway. She stopped at the first door on the left. "This is the kitchen. It's my pride and joy. I've worked really hard to get it to my liking. I've got a brand new chefs kitchen, so if you like to cook feel free to use it." She led him into the room. The walls were a bright blue with white trim. The floor was white ceramic tile. There was an island with a few bar stools and the counters were pristine white. The fridge was the biggest Draco had ever seen. The cabinets were painted a cheery yellow that made Draco want to smile…although he didn't. The appliances, that had to be Muggle made, were yellow as well. Hermione was beaming. She loved her kitchen and she used it all the time. Hermione motioned towards a small television hanging in the corner, "I use this TV to watch the Food Network. It's a channel that is all about cooking. You might like it." She had noticed how he eyed her old fashioned stove as if he were itching to try it out.

She grabbed him by the wrist and led him into the room right across the hall, "Here is the dining room. It's not very big seeing as I rarely use it. And over there, that door leads to a balcony that overlooks Diagon Alley. There are a couple of chairs out there. I like to sit and people watch in the evening." This room was decorated in deep red and gold; very Gryffindor. The table was a dark wood with only four chairs around it. There was a wine rack on the wall opposite the door and that was basically it. Hermione was right; it was obvious she rarely used it. Draco looked at the door, "I didn't realize you lived in Diagon Alley. What are we above?" Hermione guided him to the balcony to look outside. It was clearly a hot day as people were moving slowly through the tiny street, "I live above Tina's Tea House and across the street is…"

"Flourish and Blott's." Draco smirked out the window. Of course the Know-it-all lived across from the bookstore. If the store hadn't been two stories she probably would have lived on top of that! "I should have guessed you would live near a bookstore." Hermione playfully smacked him on the shoulder with a little laugh, "Oh, stop it ferret!" she teased. "I can survive without living across from the bookstore. I haven't always lived here. I moved here after Ron and I divorced. It was the only suitable flat I could get at such short notice." She seemed distant and Draco vowed to ask her more about that later.

Draco chuckled at the use of the old nickname. He had nearly forgotten being turned into a ferret all those years ago. She backed away from the door and turned to face Hermione, "Care to show me where I'll be sleeping?" She nodded and took him by the hand once more. She led him down the hall and into his room; her study. "Here we are. It's usually my study, but for now, it can be called your bedroom." Draco looked about at the walls lined with books. He smirked. Of course she would have hundreds by now…she always did have her nose stuck in a book.

"It's a very nice room, thank you Granger."

She nodded and then heaved a sigh, "Well, I'm going to shower and then I can make us something to eat. Make yourself at home…" Draco nodded his understanding and then Hermione left him and went upstairs. The upstairs was smaller than the second floor, but it suited her. The first two rooms in the hallway were Rose and Hugo's. Then there was the bathroom with a linen closet opposite. The room at the very end was hers. She made her way to it and plopped her purse down by the door. She quickly grabbed her robe and some new undergarments before scurrying back towards the bathroom.

She turned on the water and dropped her robe and garments on the counter. The steam was starting to fog up the mirror but Hermione was able to get a good glimpse of what she looked like…and that was hell. Her ponytail was falling out and she had deep dark circles under her tired brown eyes. She heaved a sigh as she began to undress. She pulled her elastic from her hair and then got into the shower. The hot water felt like liquid heaven as it slowly eased the tension out of her body. She knew that she had to figure out what she was going to do with Draco…and what she was going to tell her friends and family, but that could wait a few hours.

Ron still hadn't called her back so she had no idea when she would be seeing her kids. She hated that she barely ever had time to see them, but they did live with their father most of the time. Plus they were in Hogwarts and soon would be on their own. Hermione was on her own, but that was her fault. Her relationship with Ron wasn't perfect and she didn't help the situation along…but that's another story.

After rinsing the soap from her body Hermione turned the water off and toweled herself dry. She swept her curly hair up on top of her head with a second towel. She quickly put on her camisole and underwear and then her robe. She headed back to her room to get dressed. Digging through her drawers she decided on a pair of soft black shorts and an over sized gray t-shirt. She was exhausted and as soon as she had something to eat she planned on coming up here to sleep. She took the towel off her head and hung it on the back of her door and put her hair into a messy bun; not minding that it was still damp.

When she stepped into the hallway she was surprised to find the air filled with the smell of eggs and bacon. _Had Draco made breakfast?_ Hermione stopped in her tracks wondering why he would have done that. Maybe she just smelled Diagon Alley. Either way she shrugged and headed downstairs. Sure enough Draco was not in his room so she continued on to the kitchen. Standing in the doorway Hermione was amazed. Draco had made cheesy scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon. He also had a steaming cup of tea ready for her.

Draco turned around and upon seeing her motioned for her to have a seat at the counter. Hermione did and stared at him in wonder, "Draco, you didn't have to do this. I could have easily made us some breakfast." He waved his hand back and forth as if to say, "It's not a problem." He did say, "It's the least I could do for you helping me." He put some toast on her plate of food and gave her a smirk, "Now eat."

Hermione ate and it was delicious; apparently Draco had as much of a knack for cooking as she did. Maybe this arrangement wouldn't be nearly as bad as she had started to believe. They ate in silence, and once they had finished, Hermione quickly cleaned the dishes with a simple spell. Once the dishes had been put away they sat at the counter in silence. Hermione wanted to know if he was holding it together alright. She knew that he had suffered a great loss, but was he alright having to stay here? She herself had some demons but those were far different than the demons he was subjected to. He had been on the Dark side of the war. Somehow he managed to come back from that awful time and create a family, only to have his loving wife ripped away.

Yeah, Hermione's demons were far less scary. She had been trained as an Emergency Healer as well as a Therapist Healer. That's how she knew Ernie so well…that and the fact they had slept together a few times after her divorce from Ron. Nothing ever came of it and they both knew they were better as friends and colleagues. Hermione knew she could help Draco, but she needed to give him some time to think and heal. She wouldn't start bombarding him with therapy sessions just yet. First off he needed some rest and relaxation. Her apartment may be small, but it was cozy and comforting. He could have all the privacy he needed. Plus, if he wanted to, he could pop right down into Diagon Alley. However, she would have to place a charm on him that would not allow him to leave Diagon Alley without her…and also so that he could not harm himself.

Finally, Draco cleared his throat, "I think that I'm going to get some rest. It's been a really long night…well the past 24 hours have been rough for me and I think I need to sleep." He ran a hand threw his blond hair and stood from his chair. He walked to the doorway and turned back to face Hermione, "Thank you again for letting me stay here." Then he disappeared down the hall. Hermione released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as she heard the study door click shut and stood. She walked to his door and pulled her wand from her pocket. Muttering a few enchantments she knew that Draco would be safe while she slept. She leaned her head against the door and thought, _"Sleep good, Malfoy…" _before heading upstairs to her room.

She pulled the shades so the room would be somewhat dark and crawled into her bed. She set her wand on her nightstand and snuggled deep down in the bed. She was more exhausted than she could remember being in a long time. Her life had changed drastically in the past 24 hours and she was worried about what was to come. She knew things would be difficult…she knew that there were would be fights, and she knew that her help may not even work. With a sigh of exhaustion Hermione fell into a deep sleep.

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Hours later Hermione was jarred awake. It took a few seconds to realize what had woken her—her cell phone was ringing loudly inside her purse. She threw back her blankets and stumbled from the bed to her purse. Cursing she dug until she found it, flipped it open, and put it to her ear. "Hello?" She managed and went to sit back on the bed.

"Oh, good. I was afraid you had forgotten to turn your volume on. I've been trying to call you for ten minutes." It was Ron, and he didn't sound overly thrilled. Hermione rolled her eyes and lay back on the bed, "Sorry, Ron. I was asleep, and apparently it was a very deep sleep. Did you get my message then about bringing the kids over?"

"Yes. That's why I'm calling. Can I bring them over before dinner? I'm going to this party tonight and they don't want to be left here alone." She could hear him rattling through the refrigerator.

"Sure, bring them over for dinner. I'll make their favorites…but Ron I have to tell you something…" He interrupted her, "Great! I'm sure they already have their bags packed so I'll go let them know and have them there in an hour. See you soon." He hung up.

Hermione growled and rolled onto her stomach. He never spoke to her for very long on the phone…or ever. Pushing back on her elbows she ran her hands over her face. She hadn't slept nearly enough, but it was time to get up, get dressed, and make dinner for her children. She couldn't suppress the smile that crept over her face. She had missed Rose and Hugo very much. She loved having her kids with her…if things hadn't been so horrible with Ron she would have stuck it out just so she could be with them all the time. Perhaps if she hadn't messed up big time she'd have even more time with them…

She rolled off the bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. It was chilly with the air conditioning on in the evenings. The sun was starting to think about setting and Hermione flipped on the light. She brushed her hair and applied very minimal makeup. She wasn't trying to impress Ron, but she didn't want to look a mess either. She knew by word of mouth Ron had been seeing someone for the past few weeks. He was probably even going to this party he mentioned with his new girl.

She brushed through her hair and thought about Ron's attitude towards her. Sure they had gotten divorced, but that didn't mean he could be so abrupt with her. She threw her brush down on her vanity. Of course it did. She plopped down and frowned into the mirror. It was really her fault the whole thing had come about. She grudgingly got up and stormed downstairs. She didn't have time to dwell on her and Ron's issues right now; she needed to prepare dinner and Draco for the children's arrival.

She stopped in front of the study door and gave a few sharp raps, "Draco? Draco, are you up yet? I need to talk with you."

She heard movement and then Draco answered the door holding a book in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other. "What do you need, Granger? I was pretending to sleep."

"Pretending to sleep? What are you on about?"

He sighed and tossed the book onto the shelf by the door, "I have a hard time sleeping because I get nightmares. Then when the nightmares end, the sadness envelopes me and I just want to be with her…so yeah, I was reading in the hopes that I might just pass out."

Hermione felt her face fall. She knew it was bad, but now up close she could see the deep purple circles under his eyes. He was looking down at her bare feet so she took the chance to look him over outside the hospital. He had noticeably lost a good twenty pounds and his jeans and shirt hung off of his body. His usually luxurious hair was lying limp and lifeless on his head. She thought he could use a nice haircut.

"Alright, Draco, enough with this pretending to sleep thing. Come help me make dinner. We have some important things to discuss." He nodded and followed her to the kitchen. Hermione went to the refrigerator and pulled out some lemons, limes, chicken, lettuce, and tomatoes. She then set up at the counter, "I'm going to make lemon lime grilled chicken with a salad. My kids love it for some reason."

Draco gave her an odd look and joined her by the counter, "Kids?" He reached for the lemon and held it up, "Are your kids here?"

Hermione got out her cutting board and a knife to begin chopping up the chicken. Once she was done she set it aside and began to zest some limes, "Actually, yes. Ron is supposed to be bringing them by. I'm off for a few days and it's my turn to have the children." She put the zest in a bowl and then reached for the lemon Draco held, "Ron and I share custody. He's had Rose and Hugo most of their summer break because of my schedule at work, but I'm off now, and I'll probably take off until they head back to Hogwarts. I just have to call in a request with the hospital." She added the lemon zest to the bowl and then added some olive oil, salt and pepper, as well. "Will you squeeze the juice from the lemon and lime into that salad bowl right there?"

"So, how did Weasley take the news of me being here?" he asked as he squeezed. He then added some olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, and a pinch of sugar and red pepper flakes to add a bit of spice.

Hermione handed him the lettuce to tear and add to the bowl. She then put the chicken in her bowl and coated it with her marinade. "Well, that's the thing. I tried to tell him, but he cut me off…he does that a lot…and said he'd be over in a bit with the kids." She began spreading the chicken on her heated grill pan.

"You do realize he's going to be furious when he finds out that I'm here."

Hermione rolled her eyes as she flipped the chicken, "Yes, he'll be livid. Now cut up those tomatoes for the salad."

Draco went looking for another cutting board and discovered something hidden in the back of her bottom cupboard. He moved a board to the side and stared at his discovery. There in the back were five large bottles of white wine, and eight full bottles, and one half empty bottle, of fire whisky. Glancing up at Hermione, he was glad to see she didn't have a clue he found her hidden stash of alcohol. It was a very curious thing indeed.

After locating the cutting board he went back to his spot at the counter to cut the tomatoes and acted like nothing had happened, "So what's your plan?"

She was currently setting plates, knives, and forks on the counter. She grabbed some glasses out of the cupboard and added those to the pile. She levitated everything into the air, "I think it's best for you to stay in the study until I explain everything to him. I'll send the kids upstairs to put their bags away. It should be aright…" she walked out of the room to set the table in the dining room.

In the kitchen Draco was trying to figure out when and how to ask Hermione about the liquor. He knew she had a wine rack in the dining room, but why did she have all the extra booze hidden in the kitchen? Hermione returned before he came to a final decision to put the finished chicken on a serving plate, "Do you mind tossing the salad?"

He took the tongs and began tossing the salad so the dressing he prepared at the bottom coated the lettuce and tomatoes, "Look, Granger, can I ask you something?"

She gave him a questioning look, "Sure, what is it?"

"In that cupboard…I found something."

Suddenly the floo sounded from the living room. Hermione panicked, "Oh! Hold that thought! Hurry into the study. I'll get you when the time is right." Draco rolled his eyes and did as he was told, for once.

Waving her wand to keep the chicken warm, she held her head high and walked into the living room, "Rose, Hugo, I'm so happy to see you!" She opened her arms as her two red headed children ran to her.

"Mum! I got my letter! I made Head Girl!"

"I got my letter too mum, I've been made a Prefect!"

Hermione kissed the tops of their heads, "That's fantastic you two! Now scurry upstairs and deposit your bags. We've got lemon lime chicken for dinner!"

The kids flew out of the room and Hermione turned to face Ron. He had a sour expression on his face, the norm for when he was visiting her, and was wearing deep green dress robes. He was obviously going to a fancy party. Hermione decided to just come out with it.

"Ronald, I have to tell you something very important. Will you have a seat?" She motioned towards the couch. He gave her an odd look but did as asked. Hermione sat down next to him. "Do you remember how I went though extra training to become a Therapist Healer?" he rolled his eyes but nodded, "Okay, good. Well I've taken on a therapy case for a patient that is in immense grieving over the loss of a loved one."

Ron leaned back and scrutinized his ex-wife, "So what does this have to do with me?" He flicked a piece of lint off his robes.

"Well, because of the circumstances, the patient will be staying here, with me, for a while. I wanted to let you know because of the children. They will in no way be harmed or bothered by him."

Ron leaned forward, "I guess it's nice that you told me. Who is this patient?"

Hermione closed her eyes and slowly opened them, "Draco Malfoy."

All was quiet for a moment as the name settled down upon Ron's mind. Then, suddenly he was standing in front of Hermione, "WHAT! Absolutely not Hermione! What in Merlin's name are you thinking? I will NOT have that Deatheater living under the same roof as my children. He leaves or they leave!"

Hermione rose to her feet with all the dignity she could muster, "Ronald Weasley, they happen to be _my_ children as well, and I am a certified Therapist Healer. Malfoy has been cleared of all charges as a Deatheater, so there is no reason to call him as such. The war has been over for 25 years. He had a loving family. He has a son. He lost his wife! He can stay in _my_ house if I say so. He is here to be _healed_, not to hurt my children! So can you either leave or stop talking about him in such a rude manner." She was breathing heavy and crossed her arms to glare at her ex.

Ron opened and closed his mouth a few times before deciding on what to say, "You know what Hermione, I have someplace to be, but this discussion is not over by any means. And as for our children, if I need to take full custody to keep them away from that monster, I will!" With that said he turned on the spot and apparated with a 'pop'.

"Fuck."

She heard laughing from the doorway and whipped around to find Draco casually leaning against the doorway, "Please tell me my children didn't hear me swear?"

He shook his head and walked into the room, "No, but they did hear you two fighting. Your yelling pretty much shook the entire apartment down." He smirked.

She scoffed, "Oh, come off it. Get the food on the table and I'll call Rose and Hugo down. This wouldn't be the first time they heard us fighting."

Draco nodded and went to fetch dinner.

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An hour and a half later the dinner plates were all cleaned up and Rose was upstairs reading. Hugo was probably playing his video games. Hermione and Draco were sitting in the living room having some tea. Draco was running through dinner in his head. Rose and Hugo were actually very nice to him. Apparently, Rose and Scorpius were rivals at school; although, they were nothing compared to how he and Hermione used to be.

Dinner had gone smoothly though. Hugo was absolutely friendly and very talkative, just like his mother used to be. Maybe staying here wouldn't be so bad after all. He was just about to say what lovely children she had when the floo lit up and Harry Potter's annoying head popped into view.

Hermione nearly spit out her tea, "Harry! What on earth are you doing floo-ing so late? Is everything all right?" She set her tea on the coffee table.

Harry shot a glare in Draco's direction, "According to Ron, _everything_ is not alright. He told me, but I had to see it with my own eyes. _Why_ do you have _Malfoy_ staying with you?"

Hermione rubbed her face with her hands, "I'm his _doctor_, Harry. He needs a Therapist Healer and a safe place to stay…so I volunteered."

Harry shook his head, "What the bloody hell, Hermione?"

"Harry, I told Ronald, and I will tell you; this is _my_ home and it is _my_ job…I will do as I wish. You can either be supportive or jump on the psychotic train with Ronald."

Harry pursed his lips and shook his head, "I will hold any more judgment for now, but I suggest you work things out with Ron. I think he might have been serious about the custody issue." With a nod he disappeared out of the fireplace.

"That went well." Draco drawled.

Hermione closed her eyes and counted to ten. She opened her eyes back up and turned to look down at her houseguest, "Draco, I think I need to show you something."

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Review please! Let me know what you like or don't like…just review!


	3. Dance in the Dark

**Author's Note**: In this chapter we find out about Hermione's demons! Hope you like! Please make sure to review! Also, as always, a wonderful shout-out to my Beta, StoneFeather30135! So glad she finds all my silly errors!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot. Wish I got paid for writing this…but I don't.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Three: Dance in the Dark

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"_Baby loves to dance in the dark. 'Cuz when he's lookin'  
She falls apart." – Lady Gaga_

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Hermione made sure the children were indeed in bed and fast asleep before returning to the living room where she had left Draco sitting. She stopped just inside the doorway and observed him. He was turning the remote to her television over and over in his hand. She smiled. He would most certainly be trying that out within the next few days; she knew his curiosity would win over his mistrust of anything Muggle.

She cleared her throat and he dropped the remote onto the couch before standing up to face her. She took a step towards him and held out her hand. "Malfoy," she cleared her throat, "Draco…I'm ready to show you my secret now."

His brow furrowed, but he took her hand anyways. She tightened her hold and led him into the kitchen, "Sit." She stated motioning for him to sit at the counter. He watched as she pulled two large wine glasses from the cabinet. She placed them side by side in front of Draco and then sat down on the other counter chair. She glanced at the wine glasses and closed her eyes. Draco wondered what was going on inside her head and why she had placed the empty glasses in front of him. He waited patiently for her to explain.

After a few moments he heard her take a deep breath, when he glanced back at her; her eyes were open once more and she was staring intently at him. He took in the paleness of her face and the frizziness of her hair. She really still looked the same as she always had, but he could tell by the troubled look in her eyes that something was bothering her.

Hermione was unsure of how to begin but she knew that if she didn't tell him tonight, he would find out eventually. She cleared her throat, "Draco, I'm an alcoholic." When he didn't respond or show any emotion, she continued, "I have been for quite a while now…about six years actually." She got up from the counter and bent to the cabinet where Draco had stumbled upon her liquor earlier, "I keep a stash of wine and firewhisky down here behind a board so no one finds it…but it looks like you might already know that." She finished as she placed the half empty bottle of firewhisky on the counter then stopped to fix the board Draco had disturbed earlier. She raised an eyebrow as an inquiry.

Draco smirked and leaned forward to take the bottle from her. He poured some into each of the wine glasses before setting the bottle back in front of her. "Yes, I stumbled upon it earlier, but I had no idea what it meant. It's actually what I was trying to ask you before Weasley showed up."

Hermione snorted, very unladylike, and sat back down, "Oh, Ron; he's the reason I drink."

"Interesting." He reached for his glass and took a sip. Hermione reached for hers and downed the entire thing. She didn't even sputter as the hot liquid went down her throat. Draco stared at her in wonder. "So, you do this often then?"

Rolling her eyes, she added more whisky to her glass, "Obviously. I did say that I'm an alcoholic."

"You're not getting treatment then?"

"Well, no one but Ron knows…and now you."

He sipped his beverage and evaluated the situation before him, "Alright, so you're an alcoholic, but only your ex-husband knows…how does that work?"

Finishing her second glass she set the bottle aside, for now. She stared at Draco's glass, wishing it was possible for her to only take little sips at a time, whereas she liked to down the whole glass at once.

"After Rose went away to Hogwarts for her first year, I began to drink more than just my usual one glass of wine a night." She splayed her left hand out on the counter and looked at her empty ring finger, "Ron began spending more and more time away on Auror missions and Hugo was still young enough that I was forced to stay home with him. I was lonely and just wanted my husband home with me, but the thing was, I loathed him. I hated that he would leave me for weeks at a time to run off gallivanting with the other Aurors while I was stuck at home with Hugo. Mind you, I love Hugo to pieces, but Harry never left Ginny alone with their children. Harry only took missions close to home. So inevitably, I began to drink three or four glasses, maybe even the entire bottle of wine, a night."

Draco stayed silent while she told her tale and watched as she drank down two more glasses of whisky. He could tell she was becoming tipsy, but chose to keep his mouth shut. It wasn't really his place to say anything.

She emptied her glass again before continuing. "Ron and I began to fight about the subject, so reluctantly, he quit being an Auror and went to work with his brother, George, at the joke shop. You would think that with him being home more often it would make things better; that we would go back to being a happy family and my drinking would stop, but it didn't. Instead we fought more; he still spent too much time at work and not enough time at home…and I moved from wine to firewhisky." As if to emphasize the point, she took another drink.

"Then, one night during Rose's second year at school, Ron came home from work earlier than usual. Hugo was in bed and I was trashed, puking in the bathroom. Up until then, Ron had no idea about my drinking, but when he found me in the bathroom, empty bottle of Odgen's next to me, he knew. He helped me clean up and then carried me into our bedroom. I was crying hysterically asking him to make the pain go away. And you know what he said?"

Draco raised his eyebrows and shook his head. Foregoing refilling her glass, Hermione took a swig from the nearly empty bottle, "He told me, _'Fine, Hermione, I'll make the pain go away. I'll make _my_ pain go away. When Hugo leaves for school at the end of the summer, I want a divorce.'_ Of course that made only made me cry harder, but what could I do? I was drunk and upset; I didn't really love him anymore. So I agreed and he left me alone that night, and every night after. I thought that he would tell everyone about my drinking and make a fool out of me, but he didn't. I think he was embarrassed he hadn't known about it sooner and put a stop to it. As soon as Hugo and Rose left for school the following September, Ron and I filed for divorce stating that we had _'irreconcilable differences'_. No one even blinked an eye at our divorce; I think most of our family and friends knew we were having some kind of problems. Ron kept the house and made me move out, so I bought this flat. He promised we would have joint custody of the children, but after I quit my job at the ministry and started Healer training, he ended up having them more often than me."

Draco was surprised to hear how she and Weasley had come to be divorced. He had heard that they simply didn't work out. Weasley had certainly made sure one knew his wife was a drunk. He really was a little weasel, wasn't he? He glanced at the empty bottle and then at his still half full glass. He pushed it towards Granger and watched as she eager drank the contents. She was indeed a lush, wasn't she? "So, Granger, do you drink like this every night?"

She laughed drunkenly, "Certainly not. I have come a long way since the early days. I usually only drink when I have to deal with Ron…like tonight." She tried to stand up from her chair but stumbled right back down, "I can go days or even weeks without drinking a single drop, I have to because of my job, but damn it, as soon as I have to deal with that bloody bastard, here I am, totally cankered." She flew into a fit of giggles.

Draco got up and threw the empty bottle into the trash. He then took their glasses and proceeded to wash them, dry them, and put them back into the cupboard he had seen her pull them out of. He turned to look at her. Her eyes were blood shot, she was swaying on her seat, and unknowingly to her, and she had tears running down her cheeks. That bastard, Weasley, really had no idea what he had done to her, did he? Here he was staying with Granger so that she could provide him with therapy, when in reality; she was the one who probably needed the therapy.

_What the bloody hell was he going to do?_

He could leave and go back to the Manor…after he had tried torching it, his mother had started to rebuild it. She would probably love to have him back home. In fact she had said as much every single time she had come to St. Mungo's to sign him out of the Psych Ward. Even though the Manor probably looked completely different, there was no way he could do that right now. Too many memories of Astoria lingered there. He had fallen in love with her there.

"Granger, if you're not up to me being here, I can certainly leave. I can find somewhere else to stay. There's always the Leaky Cauldron or another hotel."

Hermione held onto the counter to steady herself as she gingerly stood from her seat, "Don't be ridiculous, Malfoy. I asked you to stay here so I could give you therapy, and I will do just that. I just can't promise that I'll be sober every single night. Remember, I only drink at night after my children are asleep." She tentatively took a few steps towards the door.

Draco was watching her with his arms crossed as he leaned against the refrigerator. Hermione was swaying on her feet; it was a miracle she was even standing. Odgen's Old Firewhisky was the strongest in the Wizarding world and she had consumed almost half a bottle. He remembered getting sloshed on it many times after the War had ended—before he had gotten with Astoria.

Hermione was nearly to the doorway when she lost her balance and plunged forward. "Bollocks!" she yelled throwing out her arms to stop the blow of the doorframe; but the pain never came. She opened her eyes to realize that Draco had somehow caught her just in time. It wouldn't have been the first time she fell drunkenly, but it was definitely the first time someone had been there to catch her before she hurt herself. She began to cry, "Oh, I'm so sorry. It's your first night here and I'm a disaster."

Draco let them slide to the floor never letting go of her petite form. He never noticed because he was always so distracted at the hospital, but she was certainly much slimmer than she had been back in Hogwarts, and that was saying something seeing as she had two children. He helped her sit on the floor and hoped that her children hadn't heard her shout.

"It's alright, Granger, no need for the tears. Everyone gets drunk and falls down sometimes. Do you need help going to bed?"

She nodded and wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt. She was really embarrassed. Here she was sobbing and a drunken mess in front of her school nemesis. He probably thought she was a nutcase. This thought caused her to laugh and Draco was now officially staring at her like she was insane, "I just had a funny thought, but never mind that. If you wouldn't mind just helping me up the stairs, I can make it from there."

He nodded and stood bringing her with him. She closed her eyes at the head rush she felt at moving so quickly. Hermione turned off the kitchen light and then they began their way down the hall. Hermione's head was already pounding from the effects of the whisky. Tomorrow morning she would need some of her hangover potion for sure. Just as they were passing the study, Hermione felt a wave of nausea.

"Oh, no…" She let go of Draco's arm and bee-lined into the downstairs bathroom. Throwing herself on the floor she flung the toilet seat up and as the entire contents of her stomach made a spectacular reappearance. She was sick for a good ten minutes, and when she was finished she flushed the toilet and sat back against the tub. She grabbed a spare washrag and wiped her sweaty face and mouth. She looked up into the doorway and found Draco leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. He was watching her with concerned eyed that brought fresh tears to her eyes.

At seeing her start to cry, Draco pushed himself away from the doorframe and knelt down to her, "Are you alright?" He tried to catch her eye, but she was doing a good job of staring at the tiled floor.

She shook her head causing her frazzled hair to flop back and forth. She smelled of sour whisky, sweat, and tears. She felt like a train had hit her. But the worst part of the entire situation was that she'd felt this way before. The only difference this time was that Draco was there being ridiculously nice when he really had no right to be. Actually, _that_ was probably the worst part of the situation.

"No. I feel like shit, to be honest."

"That's to be expected."

"Yes. I guess you're right." She pushed herself up to sit on the side of the bathtub. "I really need to get to bed. It's really late, and the kids will be up and expecting a trip into Diagon Alley in the morning. You heard them at dinner; they're beyond excited for this upcoming year."

"Then let's get you to bed, shall we?"

She nodded and allowed him to help her up once more. This time they made it upstairs and even all the way into her bedroom without any problems. Draco helped her pull back the bed sheets and turned around as she undressed. When she coughed he knew it was safe to turn around. She was propped up against her pillows, and she looked dreadful. She was going to be feeling the effects of tonight all day tomorrow.

"Well, I'll let you get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." Draco turned to go and was almost at the door when Hermione stopped him.

"Malfoy, will you turn off the light?"

"Sure, Granger." He clicked the light off and grabbed the bedroom door to close on his way out.

"Actually…" he stopped walking, "Will you sit with me for a minute? My head is feeling a little clearer, and I have a few questions I want to ask you."

With a sigh he walked back into the room and closed the door so the children wouldn't hear them talking. It was surprisingly dark in the room, but he didn't dare turn on the light—it would only make her sick. There was a small glow from her alarm clock.

"Thank you."

"Sure. I figured the questions would start eventually…why not when you feel like shit?"

"Don't be rude, Malfoy."

"_I_ have a question of my own: Why do you switch from calling me Malfoy or Draco?"

She tilted her head, "It depends on my mood. If I'm irritated with you, it's Malfoy; if things are peachy, it's Draco."

"Of course."

She smoothed down her quilt, "Be nice, please. I'm just curious about a few things."

He leaned back against the bottom part of her bed, "Alright, Granger, I'll play nice since you're not feeling one hundred percent."

"Thank you." She took a deep breath and decided just to get started, "Why did you agree to come stay here?"

Of course she would start with the most difficult first. He decided to just be honest, "Because my life really couldn't get much worse than it is right now, so I figured; what the hell? Just let the Know-it-all try a whack at fixing me."

"What if I can't fix you?"

"Then I guess…I might just not survive this thing."

Hermione inhaled sharply, "Please, don't say that."

"Granger, attempting to jump off the roof yesterday was not my first shot at ending my life."

She shifted, "I know. Ernie told me about it before we left the hospital. You were still inside the Manor when you set fire to it. Before that you tried slitting your wrists. You also drank some sort of potion. Your son found you that time."

Draco scowled at her for knowing so much about him. He was getting agitated talking about himself and his suicide attempts. "Here's the thing Granger, after Scorpius found me I refrained from hurting myself as far as that again. Yesterday was the first time in a while that I was feeling ridiculously low."

"Why was yesterday so different?"

"It was our anniversary."

"Oh."

They were quiet for a while. Hermione played with a string that was hanging on the corner of her quilt and Draco was fidgeting with a button on the cuff of his shirt. Hermione looked up and watched him for a minute.

"We can get you some clothes tomorrow."

"Alright. Did you want to go to bed now?"

"Soon…right now I want you to roll up your sleeves."

"What?" He stared at her if she had sprouted another head, "You're joking with me right?"

"No, Draco, I'm not." She crawled down the bed and kneeled in front of him. She wasn't bothered by the fact that she was only wearing panties and a large t-shirt. She needed to see something to find out if her suspicions were correct.

He groaned, "Fine." Draco took his time unbuttoning the sleeves and then rolled both up to his elbows. He held out his arms for her to see and turned his face to the side so he couldn't see her reaction. It was bad enough _he_ had to deal with it every day. He heard her intake of breath and then felt her gently take each wrist in one of her hands. He turned his head to face her slowly, suddenly _wanting_ to see what she thought.

Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing; Draco's arms were full of scars and fresh cut marks. She took his wrists in her hand being careful not to disturb him. She wanted to see them up close. She had never seen or known anyone who had been in so much pain that they needed to cut their own skin.

"May I touch you?" she asked so quietly he almost didn't hear her. He met her steady gaze and nodded. She slowly slid her finger over some of the deep scars. They felt smooth, but wrinkly at the same time. She had a few scars of her own, but nothing of this magnitude. Her scars were from the War or when she was a child…and a few were even from Crookshanks. She let her finger glide over a fresh wound. She felt him flinch, so she quickly moved on. When she was finished examining his arms she gently rolled his sleeves back down and re-buttoned the cuffs.

She plopped backwards onto her bottom and sat Indian style. She placed her elbows on her knees with her cheeks in her hands. She stared Draco in the eye; it wasn't angry or accusatory—she was just simply looking at him. Hermione didn't speak and Draco didn't say a word either. They sat that way for quite some time just looking at one another.

Hermione spent the time wondering exactly what Draco's life might have been like growing up. Eventually she would come to ask him about it, but not tonight. It was late and they both needed to get some sleep soon. She knew that Lucius had died about fifteen years ago and that Draco had been forced to take over the family business even though he was only 28 years old. She knew that in a normal situation, a wizard would not become head of the family until his late forties or early fifties. Draco certainly had a lot on his plate, not the mention the death of Astoria.

It really was no wonder he was at his breaking point. She had moments where she thought she was near her breaking point as well…but instead of reaching for razor blades she reached for whisky bottles. She fell into despair when the night crept in and he lived in his despair all day long. She hated Ron for making her feel so low that she needed to drink her pain away. When she has to deal with her ex-husband she holds it together in front of him, but he always makes her feel like dirt, so then late at night she drinks herself stupid.

She could tell by his eyes that he was starting to get tired. She didn't blame him; she was exhausted as well. Finally she leaned back with a sigh, "I will let you get to bed now. Thank you for taking care of me tonight. It was rather nice of you, and you didn't have to."

Draco stretched after he stood from the bed, "No, it's alright, Granger. I didn't mind."

She nodded and slid back under her quilt. Draco opened the door and stood in the frame looking back at her. She smiled sleepily, "Go and try to get some rest. There is dreamless sleep potion under the sink if you need it."

"Goodnight, Granger."

"Goonight, Draco."

He closed the door and she settled down in her bed. She listened for his footsteps to fade down the hall. She was still slightly woozy from the alcohol, but she felt a lot better now than she had earlier. Now, she just needed some sleep. With the picture of Draco's scars in her mind she fell into sleep.

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Hermione bolted up in bed with a gasp. She had been dreaming about something really intense, causing her to feel like she had just run a marathon. As soon as she opened her eyes, she hissed in pain as the daylight hit them. She flung herself back under the quilt and moaned as a pounding headache took up residence in her skull. Memories of the night before began to trickle back into her consciousness and she moaned again, but this time it was in mortification. She couldn't believe that she'd allowed Ron to get to her…and then drank herself stupid in front of Draco. What had she been thinking?

She laid there trying to stop the feeling of embarrassment in the darkness under the quilt. She knew she needed to get up, get dressed, and then make the children breakfast. _Something_ was off though; she could swear she smelled bacon and eggs already. Was her mind seriously messing with her this morning? Tentatively, so she didn't hurt her head worse than it was, she peeked out of the quilt into the sunlit room.

There, sitting on her nightstand, was a tray of food. There were scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and a half of a grapefruit on the tray. She sat up to examine it even more closely. There was a steaming cup of tea, a small glass of milk, and a vial of potion. She noticed a little note folded against the vial and reached for it.

Opening it she read:

_Granger,_

_Your children were up ridiculously early. I told them you had a migraine and made them breakfast. Take the potion…you will feel much better for it. Make sure you eat everything…or the potion will not work, as you probably already know. The children and I will stay downstairs until you're awake and ready._

_They keep nagging me to take them into Diagon Alley…but I thought it was best if they weren't seen in public with me right now._

_Draco_

Hermione set the note back on the tray and leaned back against her pillows. She turned her head to look at the alarm clock. It read: 11:35am. She hadn't slept this late in a long time. She put her face in her hands. She was really making a great impression. Fighting with her ex, getting drunk, and oversleeping. Poor Draco was downstairs babysitting her children while she slept the day away.

Deciding she better get a move on, she drank the potion down in one gulp, gagged, and set it back on the tray. She then helped herself to the delicious looking breakfast her houseguest had made. She was especially glad he had taken the time to place a warming spell on the food because she had the feeling it had been sitting there for a while.

Forty five minutes later, Hermione was freshly showered and dressed, not to mention feeling much better thanks to the potion and Draco's breakfast. She had magically dried her hair and let it hang down for once instead of throwing it into a ponytail. She didn't know why, but she applied a little bit of makeup and even put on some earrings. She stood in front of her long mirror, assessing her choice of outfit for the day. It was summer after all, and they would be walking around Diagon Alley. She had decided on a pair of light jean shorts, a pale pink t-shirt, and her favorite sandals. She felt she looked appropriate enough for the day, so she grabbed her purse and headed downstairs.

She peered into the study and found that empty so she walked to the kitchen. That room was empty too. She slung her purse on her shoulder and stepped into the doorway of the living room. She was just about to say something, but decided to keep her presence unknown for a moment. She couldn't help the smile that slid onto her face.

Draco was situated on the couch between her two children. They were explaining to him how the television worked. Hugo was holding the remote out of Rose's reach, and Draco was trying to get him to share. It was a very humorous sight. Rose kept whining, "Come on Hugo, he said share! I want to show him how to record programs!"

Hugo would whine back, "Not now, Rose! I want him to see that channel I was telling him about."

Draco was shaking his head at them, "If you two wake your mother, I will be very disappointed. There's plenty of time for you to show me _both_ of these things…whatever they are."

Hermione leaned against the doorframe and enjoyed the show for a few minutes longer. Clearly, Draco was good with children. She placed a finger upon her lip and wondered how he was with his own son. She knew that Rose and Scorpius were in the same year at Hogwarts. She would have to discuss Scorpius with Rose at later date.

Finally, deciding it was time to give Draco a break, she cleared her throat. Hugo dropped the remote immediately and Rose bounded over the back of the sofa, "Mum! How are you feeling? Mr. Malfoy said you were feeling off."

Hermione smoothed her hand over Rose's curly red hair, "I'm feeling much better now. Are you two still interested in shopping?"

Hugo ran over to her as well, "Yes! Please mum! I need new robes this year! I'm a Prefect, after all."

Rose rolled her eyes at her brother's antics, "Yes, but _I_ am Head Girl! If anyone is getting new robes, it should be _me,_ little brother."

"You may both get some new robes if you like. It has been a while…we also need to get Draco some new clothes as well, seeing as he has none here." She smiled at Draco who had come to stand behind her children. He was still wearing the outfit he had on yesterday. She felt bad knowing it probably didn't smell that great.

"Yes, mum." Rose and Hugo said at the same time.

"Very well then, let's get going. Coming with us, Draco?" she asked politely.

He hesitated for a moment, and looked at the children; they were both looking at him eagerly. He shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

Rose and Hugo shouted their 'hurray's' and the four of them headed for the door. The two children quickly scurried outside, but Hermione held Draco back for a moment, "I just want to thank you for…well, everything. You're really great with my children, thank you."

Draco smirked, "Not a problem, Granger. I do have a son of my own. Don't know if I could handle more than one…especially with Weasley blood, but I can take care of them if you need me to. You know, in case I'm here and Weasley starts with you again."

She nodded in understanding, "Yes, well…I do appreciate it."

He smirked again, "Let's get going before those kids run off someplace."

Hermione laughed and let him lead the way outside into Diagon Alley.

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The next couple of weeks went by rather quickly for Hermione. Most days were good. She would spend time with the children on day trips to London or Diagon Alley, and she would also have her therapy sessions with Draco. The living situation was no longer uncomfortable.

The nights were a different story.

Many times, Ron would send her an owl or floo over in the evening to confront her about the 'Malfoy' situation. He was still threatening her with taking full custody of Rose and Hugo, but so far he hadn't gone through with anything. Harry or Ginny would come by to talk to her as well, but they never once told her that Draco needed to leave. They just kept telling her to do what was best…and in Hermione's opinion, she was.

Each and every time after she had to deal with Ron, Hermione would get drunk beyond belief. And each and every time, Draco took the liberty of taking care of her, despite Hermione's constant pleadings that he didn't have to. He felt that if she was helping him with his grieving, it was the least he could do.

So they settled themselves into a sort of routine.

Too bad things can't always be left alone.

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**A/N**: Please Review…special thanks to those who have reviewed! Glad to see how you're enjoying this! I should post again next Wednesday!


	4. Hero

**Author's Note**: Sorry that this is coming so late! Almost past my self-made deadline! I was ridiculously busy this weekend and only got this sent out to my beta, StoneFeather30135, last night! Hope that you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot. I do NOT get paid….sad face.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Four: Hero

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"_I'm gonna fight for what's right.  
Today I'm speaking my mind."– Skillet_

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Hermione was actually surprised at how well the past few weeks had been going. Well, they had been going well, besides the fact that Ron wouldn't stop harassing her. Just last night he had flooed over and upon seeing Draco sitting on the couch watching television, he'd pulled her outside. Once the door was shut he got in her face.

"_Hermione, it's been three whole weeks. I think that's plenty of time for Malfoy to be healed and ready to head back home to his Manor."_

"_Ronald, he's still having nightmares, he can barely sleep, and he's hurting himself. I cannot, with a sane mind, send him out into the world right now."_

"_Then maybe you should have him committed. I hear there's an empty space at St. Mungo's; why not send him there?"_

_Hermione backed away from her ex-husband in disgust. She began pacing the front of her flat and shaking her head, "You just don't get it, Ron. He's not going to get any better sitting in that hospital,l thinking about the death of his wife every single day. That's where she died! Being in the hospital would be more hurtful than helpful._

"_So sitting in your flat, with my children, thinking about her death everyday is better?"_

"_You're infuriating, Ronald. Being here, Malfoy has access to a different environment. He can relax and be himself. We have sessions every day to discuss his feelings and he's even shown signs of improvement when it comes to his self hurt tendencies. He hasn't attempted suicide and he's really great with our children."_

_Ron snorted and stepped towards her, effectively blocking her path and forcing her to stop. He ran a hand over his short hair, "Hermione, I don't want to fight with you every time we have to meet, but I cannot allow you to keep that man in your home with my children…I just can't."_

"_If you would stop showing up at my home every other day, uninvited I might add, then maybe you'd be able to give him a chance. Besides, in just a week, the kids will be going back to Hogwarts and this argument will be moot."_

"_I've talked with the lawyers, Hermione."_

"_You did what?"_

"_This morning I met with the lawyers about gaining full custody. I can't let this go on any longer. If everything goes to plan, the children will be with me full time by the holidays."_

"_The holidays? Ronald, how cruel can you be?"_

"_I'm not the one subjecting the children to the presence of a Death Eater."_

_Hermione took a shuddering breath and turned away from Ron to compose herself. When she knew she wouldn't burst into tears, she turned back with rage filled eyes, "He is no longer a Death Eater…hasn't been for a long time. He probably won't even be here in time for the holidays. He's doing better every day; I expect he'll be back at home with his own family before then. This whole situation is ridiculous."_

"_No, the situation is not ridiculous. Why haven't you been going to work these past few weeks? Are you drinking again?"_

_She hesitated and he narrowed his eyes at her, "You are, aren't you?"_

"_My drinking is not and has not, ever, affected my parenting…and I took off work to spend more time with the children. I have plenty of vacation days to use, and I chose to use them in order to be with the children."_

"_I'm not daft, Hermione. You used to take off work when you drank too much."_

"_I don't need to do that anymore."_

"_We'll see."_

"_Okay, Ron, I'm an alcoholic, but it doesn't hurt the children. They don't even know!"_

"_Well, the lawyers have been informed of the situation, and I'm sure they'll be in touch."_

_She was shaking with rage. She clenched her hands into fist and shoved them deep into her pockets. How dare he do this to her?_

"_You need to leave, Ronald. This is my time with the children and you are not to come here unannounced ever again, or the lawyers will be hearing about that!" With that she turned, opened the door to her flat, gave him a disgusted look, and slammed it in his face. She stood there waiting to hear the 'pop' that signaled his departure, and when she heard it she crumpled into a ball on the floor and bawled her eyes out. _

_Draco found her there about an hour later. For the first time, she hadn't wanted a drink to forget her discussion with Ron. She asked Draco to carry her to bed and give her a dreamless sleeping potion. He had without question and left her alone to fall asleep. It was the nicest thing he had done for her yet._

So now, Hermione was sitting at her dining room table going through all her old papers about the divorce and looking for a way to stop Ron. She knew there had to be a clause in here somewhere stating that Ron wasn't allowed to just barge in whenever he wanted, and that he could not take full custody because of her job. She had become far too lenient with him when it came to the children and whose turn it was to have them. She knew the kids didn't mind splitting their time with their parents, but she was sure they hated that Hermione sent them to be with their father when she couldn't take time off work.

With a cry of success, Hermione plucked the paper that would stop Ron's current battle against her. She quickly used her wand to make a copy and then made her way to Rose's bedroom. She peeked her head in the door and smiled; Rose was lying on her stomach on the bed reading her new Potions book. She tapped lightly on the door and Rose's head tilted up to see who was at the door.

"Hey mum. What's up?"

Hermione stepped fully into the room and held up her envelope, "Mind of I borrow your owl to send a letter?"

"Sure!" Rose closed her book and went to her owl's cage. She held her hand out for the letter and Hermione placed it in her palm. Hermione watched as Rose attached the letter and then allowed her owl to fly out the window. Hermione sighed in relief knowing that her lawyer would hold off Ron from taking custody for a while. He would be furious with her, but she didn't care. How dare he think that all the times he didn't follow the custody rules that she would be the one losing custody? Hermione wasn't an idiot, she made sure to follow the rules just in case something like this happened.

"Thank you, Rose."

Rose gave her mother a hug and smiled at her, "No problem, Mum. What are we going to do today?"

Hermione thought for a moment, "Maybe we can go to the zoo?"

Rose smiled, "Yes! We haven't been there in ages!"

"I'll go and pack us a lunch; why don't you go and make sure Hugo is ready?"

"Sure mum!"

Hermione went back downstairs and into the kitchen. She pulled the old picnic basket out of the cupboard, she hadn't used it since her and Ron had still been together. The two of them used to take Rose and Hugo on picnics in the Muggle park near the house they'd shared. It felt strange to pack it full of goodies and Ron not be involved. As she was making sandwiches, Draco wandered into the kitchen. He got himself a glass of water and then made himself comfortable at the counter.

"Where are you headed?"

"I was thinking that I'd take the kids to the zoo today."

Draco sipped some of his water and nodded. He didn't really understand the concept of a zoo, but he'd heard Hugo talking about it on one of those blasted cellular phones just the other day. Apparently, Weasel wanted to take them the next time he saw them. He smirked.

"You, know, Granger, I think Weasley is going to be rather upset if you take the kids to the zoo."

Hermione stopped in the middle of spreading peanut butter on bread and glanced up at him, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I heard Hugo talking to him just the other day…they were making plans to go before they went back to school."

Hermione angrily resumed making sandwiches, "Of course Ron was making plans with them…he always tries to undermine me. Well, too bad for him. We're all going to the zoo today and I don't care if he gets upset. He has the kids much more often than I do because of my job. It's lucky that I have so many vacation days; it's really nice to take time off to spend the last few weeks of summer with them."

Draco blinked at her, "When you say 'all of us' you don't mean me included do you?"

"Of course I do. There's no reason for you to sit here all day alone while we all go out and have fun." She began packing the sandwiches in the basket along with bottled water and crackers.

"Is that really a good idea with your ex-husband hounding you about your children?"

Hermione shut the basket with an angry snap, "For your information, there is no clause in our divorce agreement stating that I cannot take a friend with me to the zoo with the children. I sent a copy of our agreement to our lawyers just this morning, so as of right now, I am in the clear. He will have to find something more concrete in order to take my children from me."

Draco slid his empty glass back and forth between his hands on the counter. He wasn't one hundred percent sure that it was a good idea, but it would be nice to get out of the house, and Diagon Alley. He was starting to get restless, and that was never a good idea when it came to him and his grief. He got up put his glass in the sink and turned to face her. He shrugged his shoulders, "When do we leave?"

Hermione smiled triumphantly, "Now."

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Rose and Hugo were ecstatic. They didn't stop talking the entire time on the subway. Hermione was certain they had discussed every single animal that there could possibly be at the zoo. Now the foursome was standing just inside the gates of the zoo, deciding what to do first. Hermione handed the basket of lunch snacks to Draco to carry. He had mumbled something about a levitation spell, but Hermione had given him a dirty look and he promptly shut his mouth.

Merlin forbid, if the Muggles that were swarming saw any magic going on. Hermione was certain Ron could use that against her, and she was trying her hardest to keep everything held together as it was. They began their walk through the zoo looking at the wildcats. Rose insisted that the tiger was her favorite and Hugo declared he loved the lions. Hermione and Draco both agreed that both wildcats were intriguing.

As they were nearing the reptile house, Hermione couldn't help but smile. Draco gave her a strange look so she decided she might as well enlighten him and her children.

"Children, when your uncle Harry was young, he accidentally set a boa constrictor loose at the zoo."

Hugo stopped dead in his tracks, "Uncle Harry set a giant snake loose?"

Hermione nodded, "Yes, by accident of course. He would never purposely set a snake loose."

Rose, ever wanting to get all the facts, piped up, "And how did he do that? The glass is really thick on the exhibits."

Hermione leaned closer, so the muggles wouldn't hear, "Well, it was back when Harry could speak parseltongue. He was having a conversation with the snake without realizing it, and then his cousin, Dudley, noticed that Harry was actually talking to the snake. He made a big fuss, and then in his anger, Harry made the glass disappear."

"Did he use his wand?" asked Hugo as they entered the reptile house.

Hermione shook her head, "No, this was before he got his letter to Hogwarts. He did it without knowing what was happening."

"Wow." Both children wore looks of amazement on their faces.

Hermione chuckled, "Now, don't you two go using magic to free all the creatures. Leave them where they're safe."

"Okay mum."

"Yes, mum."

The two adults let the children lead the way through the reptile house, and within a half hour they were back out in the summer sunshine. Hermione decided it was nearly time for lunch so she turned to her kids, "Okay, let's look at one more exhibit before we have our lunch. Then we can finish the rest of the exhibits and maybe grab some dinner on the way home."

"Let's go see the bears!" Hugo said excitedly. They all agreed and began the walk to see the different types of bears.

Draco and Hermione held back a bit and Draco took the opportunity to ask some questions that had popped into his mind while Hermione had been telling the story about Potter and the snake.

"Granger, can I ask a question about that story you told earlier?"

"Of course." She slowed down so they were even further behind the children.

He struggled with what to say. He never openly inquired about Potter…as a secret agreement, Hermione and Draco never discussed the past. Everything was so muddled and complicated. Unfortunately, Draco couldn't help his curiosity today.

"When you were telling the story, you said back when Potter _could_ speak parseltongue. Are you saying that he doesn't speak it anymore?"

Hermione tilted her head towards him as they walked, "You mean you don't know?"

He rolled his eyes at her and she scowled, "Granger, if I knew what you were talking about, I wouldn't be asking."

She huffed, "Actually, no, he can't speak it anymore."

"Why?"

"Well, when he destroyed Voldemort it seems that the ability was lost to him."

This was news to Draco. He scratched his chin and asked another question, "So Potter's ability to speak parseltongue was directly linked to the Dark Lord?"

Hermione nodded and peered around a large group of students in front of her to spot her children. When she was satisfied that they were behaving she stopped and turned back towards Draco, "When Voldemort tried to kill Harry the first time, he unconsciously created a horcrux within Harry. A part of him was transferred into Harry, and that portion contained the ability to speak to snakes. Luckily, Harry was able to destroy all the other horcuxes, including the one within himself, when he was killed the night of the final battle, so that when his snake, Nagini, was destroyed, Voldemort was destroyed for good, taking with him any lingering effects he left upon those alive."

Draco was lost. He threw up his hands and shook his head back and forth, "Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Potter _actually_ died the night of the final battle…but that he's _still_ living?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, "Keep up Malfoy. Harry didn't really die, but he did have to die momentarily so that the part of Voldemort within him would be destroyed. Didn't your parents tell you any of this?"

He shook his head, "No, they never told me anything about this. Like I said, I still thought Potter could speak parseltongue."

Hermione felt rather sad for Draco all of a sudden. How could his mother never have told him about Harry being…well, dead for a moment? She took his hand and led him over to a bench. She sat down and he followed suit. She figured while the kids were enjoying looking at the different types of bears, she could have a discussion with Draco.

She turned so that she was slightly facing him. He remained facing forward; a hard look upon his face. She wasn't sure where to begin, but she decided asking a few questions about something that had been bothering her was as good a place as any.

"Draco, when I came to you on the roof of the hospital, you told me that Scorpius was in France with your parents, but I thought that your father passed away years ago. What did you mean by that?"

Draco looked up at the sky. The clouds were large and beautiful. He hated talking about his past, but he knew if he didn't answer, Granger would keep pestering him. And, as if on cue, she asked another question.

"Can you tell me what happened after the war?"

"After the war, my parents and I returned to the Manor. It was in ruins from being used as the Dark Lord's base for so long, so mother hired people to restore it. It's been there for generations and we couldn't simply trash it and move on. It would be an insult to our ancestors. After the renovations began, mother and father decided we would purchase a house in France and stay there until the Manor was complete. But things got complicated; my father began to go crazy. He would travel back and forth between France and Wiltshire, but the traveling wasn't good for his mental health. He was constantly telling my mother and me that the renovations were not going as planned. Then one day nine years after the renovations had begun, my mother had enough. She went to check for herself exactly how things were coming along. Don't get me wrong, she loved France, but she wanted to be back home. She especially wanted her new grandson to be able to live in the home of his ancestors. By this point, Astoria and I had been married for a few years and Scorpius was a year or so old. I had my own house with my wife and son in London, but mother insisted that she'd get to the bottom of the holdup with the Manor."

He took a break to catch his breath. Hermione was watching him with rapt attention. He glanced around. No one was looking at them; he supposed that everyone thought they were a couple having a family discussion. It made him feel uncomfortable, but Hermione prodded him on the arm asking him to continue his story.

"So, mother returned to the Manor, but she never expected what she found. The Manor was exactly as it had been after the war; actually it was in worse condition. She confronted my father, and it turns out, he had fired the renovators. He was determined that the Dark Lord had hidden treasure or money or…something inside the Manor for him to find. So instead of making sure the Manor was being redone, he was destroying it even further."

Hermione leaned closer, "So what happened next? What did Narcissa do?"

He laughed, "Mother rehired the renovators and hulled my father's arse back to France. She placed wards up that wouldn't allow him to enter the Manor until it was finished. Unfortunately for him, he never got to return. Later that year his insanity got to him and he drowned himself in the Seine River. That's when I was forced to take over the family business. It was lucky that I was already living in London."

Hermione glanced towards the bear exhibit for a moment collecting her thoughts. Rose and Hugo were reading the poster about the polar bears. She let her gaze settle back on her patient, "What happened to Narcissa?"

"Four years later, the renovations were nearly complete, so she thought she could return, but there was a problem."

"A problem?"

"Yes. She had fallen in love with a French wizard."

"Well, that's good isn't it?"

"Yes, it was very good for her, but now she had a dilemma. She could stay in France with Pierre, or return to the Manor. In the end, I told her she better not let Pierre Watercress get away and she married him. They remained in our France residence and Astoria, Scorpius, and I sold our London house and moved back to the Manor."

"So when you said parent's home in France, you meant your mother and step-father?"

"Yes."

"That makes much more sense now. How does Scorpius like Pierre?"

Draco smirked, "They get along great. Pierre has been a tremendous help since Astoria died. Scorpius never knew my father, but I'm sure he's heard of the atrocious deeds he committed."

Hermione waved the children over, "Do you regret that he never got to know his real grandfather?"

Draco stood and straightened his long sleeved gray shirt, "No, not really. It's probably a good thing that Scorpius didn't grow up hearing everyday about how muggleborns were going to ruin the wizarding world."

"You're probably right about that." Hermione replied with a slight smile.

Draco smirked back just as Rose and Hugo joined them. They began chattering about the bears immediately and Hermione ushered them towards the picnic area with Draco carrying the basket behind them.

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The rest of the day went by uneventfully. They stopped at a small muggle restaurant on the way home and had a nice and quiet dinner. They all ordered the fish and chips because the waiter had insisted it was the best in the area. By the end of dinner, they had to agree.

When they returned to the house at the end of the night, the children went off to get ready for bed and Draco disappeared as well. Hermione wandered into the kitchen to put the basket away and wash the dishes from earlier in the day. Usually she would just use magic to wash the dishes, but tonight she felt like doing things the muggle way. She'd had a day full of muggle activities and she felt the need to keep it going.

After the dishes were washed and put away, she decided to put on some water for tea. While the tea was getting to a boil she went upstairs to check on Rose and Hugo and to change into some more comfortable clothes. She found that Hugo had already passed out and Rose was reading her newest favorite book, _Standard Book of Spells Grade 7_. Hermione whispered goodnight to her daughter and shut the door quietly so she wouldn't wake Hugo across the hall.

After a quick change into a pair of sweat pants and an old t-shirt, she was back down in the kitchen just in time to catch the teapot before it started to whistle. She didn't want to disturb anyone who might be sleeping. Just as she was about to pour her hot water into a cup, Draco strolled into the kitchen. His hair was still wet from the shower and he was wearing just his boxers and a long sleeved white t-shirt.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, "Not ready to go to bed yet?"

Hermione smiled, "No. Would you like to join me for some tea?"

"Sure."

She got another mug from the cabinet and then put the tea bags in both mugs and poured the water. She placed the teapot back on the stove and turned to Draco. He reached for his mug and dunked the bag a few times before tossing it into the garbage bin. Hermione followed suit and then motioned for him to follow her into the living room. She just wanted to sit in front of her fireplace and relax before bed.

She was ridiculously tired because she hadn't slept much the night before thanks to her conversation with Ron, but she was far too riled up at the moment. After Ron had left last night she had really gotten herself drunk; this was after she had cried herself silly and Draco had taken her to bed. Hermione had cried in bed for a good hour waiting for everyone to be asleep before sneaking back downstairs, and into her secret stash. She wasn't able to sleep, and after all that crying, all she wanted was a drink.

She'd gone through three bottles of wine before Draco had woken and found her laying on the dining room floor surrounded by her divorce papers with tears streaming down her face. She'd thought he'd gone to sleep a long time ago, but thankfully he was there to drag her to bed, _again_, or she might have passed out on the floor where Rose or Hugo might have found her. That was definitely not something that could happen.

So here she was tonight, drinking plain old tea instead of wine or whiskey. It was really strange to being relaxing with Draco, but he'd been so different lately, it was hard not to relax around him. They both settled in on the couch and drank their tea for a while. A good ten minutes passed and neither of them spoke a word; though the silence was not awkward.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He seemed much more relaxed tonight. The day out must have done him some good. Hermione was glad that she had asked him to come along; well she kind of told him rather than asked, but it was still nice. She snuggled back into the couch and decided it was time to open up with him a bit. Well, a bit more than her alcoholism.

Hermione swung herself around and leaned her back against the armrest. Draco dropped his head onto the back of the couch and rolled it so he could look at her, "Let, me guess, you want to discuss my feelings again?"

Hermione's mouth dropped open, "What? No I just wanted to talk…really, just talk."

Draco lifted his head up and turned himself around so he was seated the same way as Hermione. He finished the last of his tea and set the cup on the coffee table, "Alright, let's talk."

Hermione beamed. She really wanted him to open up to her and she felt that he was starting to be more relaxed. Maybe they could go a whole conversation without sarcasm and skiving remarks. She decided to just start with something simple.

"Draco," she began, "I just want to thank you, again, for everything you've done since you've gotten here. Also, I am so glad that you came with us to the zoo today. I know how hard you have been working to keep your grief to a point that you can deal with. I want you to know that you're welcome to come along on any of our outings. I know that they're going to be heading back to Hogwarts soon, but anything we do before then, please feel free to come."

Draco sighed, "That's good to know. I think you're kids are great despite the fact that they're also the Weasel's. Rose is brilliant and she's going to make a great Head Girl and Hugo is well on his way to becoming a great Head Boy, if he can keep his pranks to a minimum."

Hermione had to laugh at that. It was true; Hugo did take after his uncle George quite a bit, but that could be because he spent a lot of time at the joke shop with his father and uncle. It was refreshing to hear Draco compliment her children.

"Rose tells me that she and Scorpius are good friends at school; that they both have the top grades and work together in a lot of classes. Have you heard from him at all this summer?"

"Actually, I haven't. My mother has been keeping contact, but she thinks that it will be harmful to his psyche if he knows how I've been. That's why she and Pierre have been traveling with him this summer."

"Maybe Rose can invite him for a visit. Does Narcissa know that you're staying with me?"

"No and I think it's best if she doesn't know right now. I'm not sure how she will take it."

"Okay, well, Scorpius can come before we take the kids to the train station, maybe stay a few days?"

"Okay, as long as Rose doesn't tell him I'm here. I'd rather tell him myself; in person."

Hermione nodded in understanding. She didn't want to cause any friction with his family because that could hinder any progress that they've made.

"I understand."

"Granger?"

"Yes?"

"I want to talk to you about Astoria."

Hermione held her breath and blinked at him. It was the first time that he initiated any conversation about his dead wife. This was certainly a breakthrough in her opinion. She leaned forward and patted him on the knee, "Sure, Draco. Go ahead." She felt it was necessary to let him lead the conversation instead of her asking questions.

He sighed, "I understand that she's gone, I really do, but it kills me inside that I still love her so much. She was the only person I ever loved. I didn't even know I loved her until after we were married."

"You didn't tell her you loved her until after you were married?"

"No, I didn't. We had a bit of an arranged marriage." At the look on Hermione's face he shook his head, "Don't look so surprised, Granger. An arranged marriage is not that uncommon within pureblood families. Don't get me wrong, I cared for her quite a bit, and she was a much better catch than her sister, Daphne."

"Oh, I remember, Daphne. She was quite rude, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was rude even to her Slytherin housemates. Originally, my father wanted me to marry her, but my mother allowed me to choose between the two sisters. I had always admired Astoria for dealing with her overbearing sister, and that's why I chose her. Little did I know I would grow to care for her so much."

"When did you realize that you loved her?"

"I think it was the morning that Scorpius was born. I had been at the hospital all night with Astoria while she was in labor. I spent the entire time in the room with her while mine and her parents stayed out in the waiting room. When Scorpius arrived I was so happy. It was boy, my father would be proud that someone would be carrying on the Malfoy name, and I hurried out into the waiting room to tell everyone. The joy they expressed was overwhelming. I had never experienced joy of that nature. When I went back into the room, there she was with Scorpius feeding at her breast, and this feeling just overwhelmed me. She gestured for me to come over to her and when I settled myself on the side of the bed she caught my eye. In that moment, I knew that somehow she had made me fall in love with her. I leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss. When I backed away she asked what that was for, so I told her; 'I love you Astoria; I'm sorry it took me so long to get here.'"

Hermione had to blink a few times so that she wouldn't tear up. It was unbelievable to see Draco showing so much emotion. He had tears running down his cheeks and he was breathing heavily. She didn't want to interrupt him, so she nodded for him to continue. After taking a deep shuddering breath he carried on.

"I know that it's not really my fault that Astoria died the way she did, but I feel like it was. I feel like I should have taken care of that room before she got there. I should have just let the renovators decorate like my mother wanted. I knew that it was too much for her to handle, but I didn't know just how much it would cost her."

When he didn't go on any further, Hermione knew it was her turn to speak, but she didn't have a clue what to say. What do you say to a person who's lost the only person they've ever loved? She didn't know because she had recently started to believe that she'd never really loved Ron. When she knew the silence had gone on long enough she decided to speak what she knew to be the truth.

"I've never lost the person I loved, so I cannot say I understand where you're coming from, but I can say that you will eventually be okay. I know a lot of people who've lost their best friend, their love, or sibling. It will get better, but you have to try to make it better. You can't go everyday thinking about what if you did this or what if you did that. I've seen you with my children, so I know that you must be great with your son as well. You're a good person, Draco. You will make it through this."

Instead of taking her pep talk the way she expected, which was in a good way, he stood up and glared down at her.

"How can you say that? How do you know that I'll make it through this pain? You have no idea what you're talking about! Without her I am nothing. I am not a good person. All I ever think about is causing myself pain or leaving this world so I can be with her. I am a horrible person! Look at all the pain that I caused you back at Hogwarts…look at all the pain I've caused everyone! How can I live knowing that the one person who made me whole and better is gone forever?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off, "Don't bother, Granger. I'm done for the night." He stormed off out of the room and she cringed when she heard his bedroom door slam. That would most certainly wake her kids. With a sigh she got up from the couch and grabbed their mugs. She deposited them in the kitchen sink before turning out the lights and heading to bed. She supposed that maybe it was too soon for him to talk about Astoria with her. Maybe she wasn't the best person for his case? She would have to get in contact with Ernie about the situation.

Her last thought before she slipped into unconsciousness was that she hoped things didn't get any worse.

She had no idea just how much worse they could get that night.

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**A/N:** Please review! And also, if you have a tumblr, please follow me on there for sneak peeks and tid bids from my stories as well as some of my favorite Draco/Hermione pictures! My user name is **SaTiNk06**—same as on here!


	5. Somebody that I used to Know

**Author's Note**: Hey everyone! I'm posting a day early because I finished the chapter early and my beta sent it back to me early! YAY! Also, I rushed this chapter because I have a lot to do this week in order to prepare for vacation. I am leaving for vacation this weekend, so I will be without my computer, meaning no writing. I won't get to update again until after I return, so make sure to savor this chapter! In the meantime, why not check out my beta's (StoneFeather30135) fic! Happy reading!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Five: Somebody that I used to Know

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"_Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over.  
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done"—Gotye_

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Hermione was currently sitting at the kitchen counter staring into her now cold, cup of coffee. Usually she was a tea person, but she hadn't gotten much sleep again last night. So now she had two days of nearly sleepless nights under belt. Yes, coffee was needed. She swirled the last dregs of her coffee as she thought; the rain was pounding on the windows and it helped to calm her frazzled nerves. It had been raining since the middle of the night, but it was a good thing, it had been really dry these past few weeks, and the rain was welcome.

The clock on the mantel in the living room chimed and Hermione sighed; getting to her feet to pour the cold coffee down the drain. It was very quiet in the apartment today, but after a night like last night, she wasn't surprised. She picked the dish rag up and wiped off the counter before folding it and replacing it on the sink. It was now two in the afternoon; the children should be back soon, and hopefully Draco would be awake soon as well. She walked over to the doorway and listened down the hall; all was quiet still, meaning he was still asleep. She should probably wake him. He'd wanted to be awake when Scorpius arrived.

She smoothed her hands down over her jeans and straightened her white knit t-shirt before heading to his door. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and reached for the doorknob. Leaning forward, she listened through the door; still silent. She cringed at the thought of what she might find inside, remembering what had happened the night before…

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_Hermione hadn't been asleep very long when she'd been shaken awake by Rose. It took her a moment to realize what was happening and then her daughter's face took form in front of her face. She struggled to sit up, shaking off the sleep that was still clinging to her mind. She clicked on the bedside lamp and pushed the hair off her face._

"_What's wrong, Rose? Is Hugo alright?"_

"_Yes, he's still asleep. I went downstairs to get a glass of water and I heard Mr. Malfoy talking in his room…I think he was asleep, but I didn't go in. I came right up here."_

_Hermione's heart dropped as she pushed the covers aside and crawled out of bed. He must be having nightmares again. He'd told her that when he has the nightmares, he talks in his sleep. This wasn't a good sign. Their discussion had obviously hit a nerve; even if it had been _his_ idea to talk about Astoria in the first place. She slid her feet into her house shoes and grabbed her robe from the back of her chair. She put it on and turned to her daughter._

_Rose was standing with her hands twisted together. She looked concerned and scared at the same time and Hermione went over and placed her hands on her shoulders, "Rose, darling, why don't you go back into your bedroom and shut the door. I will take care of Mr. Malfoy. Just go back to sleep." She turned her daughter towards the door and gave her a gentle push through it. Hermione followed and waited for Rose to be safely locked up in her room, before wandlessly casting silencing charms on both her children's bedroom doors. If anything were to happen she didn't want her kids to hear it._

_With a sigh of knowing that her children would be safe, she ventured downstairs and stood in front of Draco's door; her study door. It seemed as if everything was quiet inside, but to be sure, she eased open the door and took a look around. The bed was a mess; it was as if someone had been thrashing about it and then thrown the covers away in a hurry to get out. This was not good. Where was he? She hoped that he hadn't left the flat._

_She stepped back out of the room, wand at the ready, and headed down towards the kitchen. There was a light on in the living room and she couldn't remember if she'd turned it out or not. She hoped he was just having a restless night. Stepping into the kitchen she held herself upright; it was a mess. There were streaks of blood on her formerly clean kitchen counters and a few specks on the wall. What the hell had he done? Walking swiftly through the room she made quick assessment of the situation; one of her small kitchen knives was missing from the block and with the blood spattered everywhere, she could deduce that he was cutting himself…or worse._

_She hoped it wasn't worse._

_Swallowing the bile that had risen to the back of her throat, Hermione made her way to the living room…oh Merlin, her beautiful white living room…how would she get the blood out? If the sticky red substance in the kitchen had been any indication, it made her heart race just to think of how much of it could be in there. And what if Draco wasn't just cutting himself? What if he'd gone all the way? She shuddered to imagine anything of the sort. _

_She leaned into the room and breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn't in there. But where could he be? She whirled around at the thud in the dining room. He must be in there, but why? She crept back through the kitchen and then across the hall towards the dining room. Now that she was closer, she could smell the fresh air from outside tinged with that unmistakable sent of rain; a storm was coming._

_She leaned back against the wall of the hallway and pulled her wand up in front of her closing her eyes with a deep breath. A silent prayer to Merlin for him not to be lying dead on the floor, whispered across her lips, and then she eased around the doorway. The breath came whooshing out of her mouth at the relief she felt. Draco wasn't dead…he was sitting on the balcony outside. The knife lay forgotten on the dining room table. Hermione picked it up and twirled it around in her hand. It had bloodstains upon it, but it was near dry. With a tap of her wand she sent in flying back to the kitchen…just to be safe._

_Stepping up to the open doorway, she cleared her throat, tucking her wand behind her. There was no need to alarm him, she simply wanted to make sure he was alright and get him back to bed. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and she could have sworn she saw a streak of lightning to the east. Draco turned his head to look at her. He didn't say anything, and he didn't have to; Hermione could see the anguish etched into his features. Her heart skipped a beat and she swallowed hard, again._

_Hermione shivered when the wind blew against her small frame, but she stepped out onto the balcony. She didn't know what to say, and he was still staring at her. She took in his distressed form; his sleeves were rolled up and there were fresh cut marks up and down both of his arms. Some even had blood dripping from them still. None of the cut marks looked life threatening however. Feeling slightly more hopeful, Hermione walked gradually over to the other chair and sat down. She stared out over the rooftops of Diagon Alley and watched lightning strike in the distance. The thunder rumbled her to the core._

"_A storm is coming," she whispered._

"_I didn't mean to startle Rose."_

"_I know…"_

"_Will she tell the Weasel?"_

_Hermione closed her eyes and let the terror wash over her, "Merlin, I hope not." When she opened her eyes she noticed he was looking at her._

"_I should leave."_

_She shook her head, "No, no…it will be alright. I'll talk to her. She doesn't have to know what happened here tonight."_

"_I meant I should leave…here."_

_She whipped herself around in her chair to face him, "You are not saying what I think you're saying."_

_He nodded._

"_I thought we've been over this?"_

_Draco scratched his chin and let his arms fall back down onto his lap. Sitting in silence for a moment, he threw his head back and cackled, "Look at me, Granger. I'm a mess. I can't do this anymore. Any time I talk about…or even think about, Astoria…I lose it." The last part was said in almost a whisper. Hermione watched as he pushed himself up from the chair. He rolled his sleeves down and only in a few spots did the redness seep through. He stepped up to the railing and looked down at the empty street below. She wasn't sure if she should stand up and join him or stay in her chair. She did lean forward however, so that she'd be able to hear him more clearly._

"_Come here, Granger."_

_She blinked at his back, but did as he asked. She stood next to him, placing her hands on the railing…not only to mimic what he was doing, but also to help steady herself. She realized that her heart was beating very quickly, and her breathing was erratic. Turning her head away from his, she hoped he didn't notice the effect the situation was having on her. She wasn't quite sure how to react to his bluntness._

"_What am I doing here, standing with you?"_

_He let his head fall forward; his hair shielding his face, but she saw the tear slide down his cheek, linger a moment on his chin, and then fall to the street below. He was crying, silently, and it broke her heart a little to see him so devastated. She'd seen him cry before, but somehow, this was different. He just seemed so, sad…but at the same time, he looked so alive. It was as if he thrived off of this sadness. She remembered hearing about people becoming addicted to their sadness. She hoped he would not be one of those people._

"_I guess I just needed someone to be with me right now."_

"_Okay."_

_They stood there and listened to the thunder and watched the lightning for a while. Neither moved, and Hermione barely breathed; afraid that she might disrupt the situation even further. After a few more minutes, she heard Draco take a deep breath. He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her away from the ledge, causing her to let go of the railing. She stumbled back towards the chair, but didn't sit down._

_Hermione watched in horror as Draco swiftly climbed atop the railing. The wind was raging at this point and his hair whipped about his face. Hermione felt a raindrop hit her cheek and she brushed it away and she lunged forward. With one last look over his shoulder at her, Draco threw himself from the ledge. Hermione screamed and flung herself at him, but his shirt was just out of reach. With a quickness she hadn't needed since the war, she withdrew her wand and pointed it at his falling body, "Wingardium Leviosa," she screamed and held onto her wand with both hands. She'd never levitated a body before; especially not one that was falling through the air at an alarming rate. _

_She felt the instant the spell took hold of his body, jerking her towards the railing, and she risked a glance down…praying it had been before he'd hit the street. Grimacing as she held the spell, she looked down and sobbed in relief that his body was floating just a few feet from the ground. She couldn't tell if he was conscious or not, but began to lift him upwards anyway. She was sweating from the effort when she finally guided his body back on the balcony. As soon as he landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, she released the spell and fell to her knees, no longer able to control her sobs. _

_The storm crashed upon them then. Rain began driving in buckets from the sky, instantly soaking her through her pajamas. Thunder pounded so hard it rattled her ribs and the lightning flashed so brightly the entire balcony was enveloped in light. Her tears mingled with the rain and fell through her fingertips onto the concrete floor. _

_She cried until her body was shaking from the effort. She didn't stop until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up she was surprised to see that it was Draco. He was sitting next to her, his back against the railing. His hand was shaking, or was that her? She didn't know, but upon seeing his calm face, she composed herself a bit. Her tears became ones of anger and then she did the only thing she could think of, she pulled her hand back and punched him in the shoulder hard enough to break her knuckles. _

"_You, fucking, asshole." She was seething as she clutched her bruised hand. Fumbling around on the ground for her wand, she healed herself before standing up and backing away from Draco. She was breathing so hard she was sure she could be hyperventilating. He just sat there staring back at her, his arms stained red, his chest moving in and out, and his eyes like ice._

_Draco dropped his face so she couldn't see it anymore and she felt her anger slip away immediately. He looked so, broken. Stumbling back over to him, she dropped to her knees once more. She used her wand to heal his cuts; she didn't want him bleeding anymore. The red was making her crazy. She needed a drink._

_After she had him all cleaned up she helped him to his feet. He swayed a bit, but didn't resist. Together they walked back into the flat and she led him back to his room. They were both soaking wet and the house was pitch black…the storm must have knocked out the power. Luckily, the lightning helped them find their way. She deposited him on his bed and then turned to rummage through his bags for some dry clothes. She thrust them at him and managed to breathe, "Here, put these on before you catch cold."_

_Hermione turned around and crossed her arms over her chest as he undressed and then put the new clothes on. She was in shock; her body was still quaking and she felt like ice. When she heard the bed creak under his weight she turned back around, letting her arms fall back to her sides. She stood there staring down at him; his eyes bored into hers own._

"_What the bloody hell were you thinking?"_

"_You should have let me fall."_

_She threw her hands into the air, "Are you mental? Why the fuck would I let you fall?"_

_He shrugged._

"_I am your _healer_…I am here to _protect_ you, to _heal_ you, Malfoy! I'm not here to allow you to _hurt_ yourself!"_

_When he just stared back up at her she continued her rant, "I am going to talk to Rose tomorrow morning. She's going to invite Scorpius here."_

_At the mention of his son's name, Draco visibly twitched and Hermione smirked, "Ah, yes, Malfoy, your son, Scorpius. Remember him? Yes, I thought so. You are going to promise me, right here and now, that you will never ever try to kill yourself again. Ever. You have a son, and yes, you lost the love of your life, but you still have a part of her…in him. You are all he has left, what would happen if he lost both his parents? What then Malfoy?"_

_Draco took a shuddering breath and nodded, "I understand. I love my son. I promise, Hermione."_

_Hermione blinked, "What? What did you call me?"_

"_Hermione."_

_She slid to her knees, for a third time this night, and placed her hand on his knee. He peeked through his wet hair, his icy gaze looking at her intently, and she felt a shiver go down her spine, "Why?"_

_He lifted his hand and placed it on hers, "Because, after a night such as this…we cannot simply go on calling each other by our last names, can we?"_

_She shook her head, causing her tangled wet hair to whip back and forth, "No I suppose not…but you do, you promise not to try to kill yourself anymore?"_

_She heard him swallow, "Yes. I promise. For Scorpius."_

_She sat with him until the storm calmed and then helped him lay back in the bed. She picked up his wet clothes from the floor and turned to the door. He was already asleep, but just to be on the safe side she went over the bathroom across the hall and grabbed a bottle of dreamless sleep potion. Going back to him she tilted his head back and let a few drops slide from the bottle and into his mouth. He needed to sleep…without the nightmares. Tonight had been too much, and if he woke again, she didn't know what would happen._

_Closing the door behind her she sighed, now she had the task of cleaning up the mess he made._

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Hand still on the doorknob, Hermione took a deep breath and twisted it. Draco was still asleep; covers twisted around his legs. He might have had a dreamless sleep, but it was obvious it was restful. She walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. For the first time she was able to _really_ look at him. He had crow's feet by his eyes and a few lines on his forehead. Parts of his blond hair, had strands of gray speckled through it. There were purple circles under his eyes. He was much too thin for a man of his age, and his nails were jagged where they gripped the blanket; most likely from being bitten constantly.

Hermione rubbed her eyes, she had a lot of work to do, but hopefully seeing Scorpius would help his dilemma. She removed her hands from her eyes and startled; Draco's eye were open and he was watching her.

"What are you doing, Hermione?"

Still feeling strange hearing her name come from her mouth, she stood up from the bed and stepped away, "I was just coming to wake you up. Scorpius will be here soon. Rose and Hugo went to wait for him at the Leaky Cauldron. He's flooing here."

Draco sat up and swung his legs out of the bed, placing his feet on the floor. She watched as he stretched and then turned his attention back to her, "Did she tell him what happened?"

"No. I didn't tell her either. I only told her that you were having a bad night and that you didn't mean to startle her. No one knows what happened…but I do think you should tell your son at some point. You shouldn't hide things from him any longer. I don't agree with Narcissa keeping him hidden away."

"You're right, as usual."

She scoffed at him, "Get dressed, Draco. I'll go make tea." She shook her head at him as she left the room. Heading to the kitchen, she began the process of making tea. Once she filled the kettle and placed it on the stove to boil, she found a nice platter and began placing cookies she'd baked earlier on it. She was sure the children would want a snack before dinner. Just as the kettle began to whistle, Draco walked into the room and plopped down on a chair. He looked like hell, but definitely better than last night.

He'd showered because his hair was wet, Hermione observed as she began placing tea bags in mugs and filling them with the hot water. He had also shaved and put on fresh clothes. He was wearing light blue jeans and a navy blue button up shirt. He looked alright she thought. She was just about to tell him how nice he looked when the front door opened in the other room. They heard the chatter of the teenagers and both glanced at each other. They hadn't discussed how they would handle this situation yet.

Shrugging, Draco hurriedly exited the room just before Rose, Hugo, and Scorpius walked in laughing. They stopped and stared at Hermione who was holding the empty kettle in the air. She cleared her throat and replaced the kettle on the stove, then turned to smile at their guest, "Scorpius, how nice to finally meet you! Welcome to my home!" She walked over and took both his hands in her own as a warm greeting.

Scorpius smiled at her, and Merlin be damned, he had Draco's smile…and eyes, not to mention, he pretty much was the spitting image if him all around. It was eerie, but in a good way. She released his hands and he spread them wide, "This is a really nice place you have here Ms. Granger. Thank you for having Rose invite me over. It was really nice of you."

"Oh, you're welcome, dear." She turned and picked up the tray of cookies, "Shall we all head into the living room for some tea and cookies?"

Everyone nodded and she handed the tray to her son before gesturing to her daughter to help her with the mugs. Scorpius reached to help to, but stepped back with a confused look on his face, "Ms. Granger, there's an extra mug here…what do you want to me to do with it?"

She hesitated and opened her mouth to speak, but Draco chose that moment to enter the kitchen, "That would be my mug, Scorpius."

Everyone in the room turned and stared at Draco who stood in the doorway from the hall. Scorpius set the mug down and walked over to his father never tearing his eyes from Draco's face. When they stood in front of each other, Scorpius whispered, "Father, what are you doing here?"

Draco lifted his chin, "It's a long story, really."

Scorpius turned and looked at Rose, "Did you know he would be here?"

She nodded with a small smile and the boy turned back to his father. Hermione wondered if they were always this stiff with one another, or if it had just been a long time for them. She raised her eyebrow at Draco, hoping he would get the message and relax with his son. The boy was obviously surprised to see him and afraid of why he was there.

Draco caught her eye and then gazed back at his son. He slowly opened his arms and then wrapped them around the boy in front of him. Scorpius seemed a bit reluctant at first, but then he wrapped his arms around his dad as well. It was very strange to see Draco hugging someone, because she was still wrapping her mind around the fact that Draco had such strong emotions in the first place.

When they let go of each other, Scorpius laughed, a bit embarrassed at the show of affection he just experienced in front of his friends. In a way to diffuse the situation, Hermione clapped her hands together and smiled brightly, "Alright then, let's have our tea before it gets cold."

The group made their way into the living room and the kids sat on the floor while Draco and Hermione took up places on the couch. Hugo immediately began eating some of the cookies and this caused Rose and Scorpius to laugh hysterically. Hugo grinned, mouth full of cookie, but when he caught his mother's eye, he promptly shut his mouth. Rose prodded him with her elbow, and Scorpius laughed again. It was refreshing to see that her children were friends with a Malfoy. Times were so different from when she and Draco had gone to Hogwarts.

Scorpius let a smile grace his face, "Hugo is known for his eating habits at school. Rose and I tease him all the time about it. He was eating at the Leaky Cauldron when I arrived!"

"Hugo, you'll spoil your dinner." Hermione chastised her son with a smile upon her lips. He swatted his hand at her playfully.

Hermione turned her attention to Scorpius, "Are you excited to return to Hogwarts for your last year?"

He sipped his tea, "Oh, of course, Ms. Granger. I'll be Head Boy. It's going to be a great year."

Draco leaned forward, "You're Head Boy this year. Congratulations, son. I am very proud of you."

Scorpius tilted his head, "I thought you knew already. Grandmother sent you a letter."

"I haven't gotten any letter from your grandmother in quite some time."

"She told me she sent it."

"Scorpius, I want to be honest with you. I have been staying here with Hermione for almost a month now."

"Why?"

"It just happens that she is my Psyche Healer. She felt it would be best for me to stay here rather than at the Manor or at the hospital for treatment. The Manor is still under construction, from the fire, anyway. I've had some setbacks, and that is why you were asked to visit. You are part of my treatment, son. We've been apart for too long. There are many things you do not know, but that I will tell you later when we have time alone."

Scorpius nodded as he took everything in. Hermione watched a myriad of emotions flutter through his eyes: anger, sadness, acceptance, curiosity. He sat up and crossed his left ankle over the right one and shrugged. "I suspected that Grandmother was not telling me everything, but I never thought that she would keep things from me. So, let me guess, father, you've tried to off yourself again? That is why you're here, right?"

"Yes, Scorpius, I have tried to kill myself a few times since the last I saw you. Your Grandmother was trying to protect you—''

"I do not need protected. I am of age."

"Yes, yes, I know that, but I believe she will always think of you as her grandbaby."

"That's ridiculous. I should have been home all summer; helping you."

"What's done is done. We have a few days time before you return to Hogwarts. We will make the most of it, understand?"

"Yes father."

No one knew exactly what to do after that so they all finished their tea in silence. Once everyone had sat there for long enough, Hermione suggested that Rose and Hugo go upstairs and find something to keep them busy while she began dinner. This would give Draco and Scorpius some time alone. Draco looked at her with grateful eyes as she shoved her children out of the room and turned to give him a small smile as she entered the kitchen.

Hermione sighed as the sound of quiet discussion began in the living room. She was glad that the two were reconnecting. After months of not being able to talk to one another, she knew that they needed this reunion more than anything. They both lost someone all those months ago. They both lost the person closest to them, really.

Blocking out any more thoughts, Hermione got started on dinner.

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A few hours later, the five sat down to a dinner of lasagna and salad. They discussed the upcoming school year merrily now that all the bad blood was behind Scorpius and Draco. Rose and Scorpius explained in detail their plans for the Prefects, which caused Hugo to groan unhappily about all the rules they had to follow as Prefects. Hermione and Draco both agreed that there were a lot of rules, but one could still have fun. Besides, Hugo was going to be the playing on the Gryffindor Quidditch team; he'd be having plenty of fun.

Dinner was going smoothly until Hugo asked what Hogwarts was like back when they were students there. Draco said it was great up until the sixth year when it all went to shit for him due to the fact that he had a task from Voldemort to complete. He explained how he never rested much and that he was always on edge. Hermione had to agree that he was even more difficult to deal with during that year. He denied he was ever difficult to deal with…and that, well that was when the argument began.

They had just finished eating when Hermione snapped, "How can you deny that you weren't difficult to deal with, Draco?"

Draco sipped his water, "Come off it, Hermione, that's such old news."

She placed her hands flat on the table and leaned forward to glare into his icy gray eyes. She was starting to crack, she knew that, but it had been a good two days without a drink and she was starting to lose it just a little bit. So this is why she decided to start a full out argument in front of their children.

"I will not come off it. Does your son even know how you acted back in school?"

Draco threw down his napkin with a smirk, "If it's a fight you want, Granger, then, sure, let's do this. No, I never really talked about the past with Scorpius. It's not something I ever cared to share with anyone."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about, Malfoy?" If he was going to slip back into old ways, she would too.

"I didn't want Scorpius growing up with the misdeeds of my past weighing down on his shoulders."

Hermione pushed her chair away from the table, "So, you are telling me that he knows not of how you treated muggleborns or how you tormented so many people, including Harry Potter?"

Scorpius chimed in, "You tormented Harry Potter?"

Hugo and Rose, having heard the stories from the past gave each other a knowing look and began to clear the table. They knew how heated their mother could be over the subject of pureblood/halfblood/muggleborn status. She'd worked in the Ministry for years in order to secure rights for those of non pure blood families, after all.

"Scorpius, maybe it's best you help your friends clear the table." Draco prompted his son. With a roll of his eyes, he too got up and began to clear dishes.

Hermione was hell bent on keeping the conversation where it was so she carried on, "You insulted us from the very beginning, Malfoy. Making fun of Harry, degrading Ronald about his family, and then there was me. Who can ever forget the countless times you felt the need to bring my blood status into question? I will never forget the first time you said it—''

"Don't do this, Granger."

"I will always remember the first day you called me a, a mudblood."

Rose gasped and dropped a glass. It shattered on the floor as Scorpius turned slowly to face his father. Draco had one hand holding his face the other tapping his fingers loudly upon the table. Scorpius handed Hugo the stack of dishes he held and walked back to the table.

"I cannot believe you called this lovely woman a—I won't even say it, but I cannot believe she's letting you stay in her home after all that."

Hermione turned her attention to the young man while waving her wand to clean up the shattered glass, "Now, Scorpius, it was a long time ago, and I don't hold it against him, really, but for him to go all this time hiding behind a fake account of the past, I can't really ignore that. We both hated each other back then. He hated me for being muggleborn, and I hated him for tormenting my friends."

"But I just don't understand it. I thought he got along with everyone…"

"Don't be silly, son; I do not get along with everyone."

"Well, that's what I thought, father. All this time I looked up to you as some sort of great person, when in reality, you're just like your father—a liar."

"I am _not_ my father." Draco stood from the table and faced his son who was glaring at him with his hands on his hips. "My father was a coward, a criminal, and a heathen. He looked up to a bloody idiot with delusional intentions, and when it was obvious the war wouldn't end the way the Dark Lord wanted, he ran away from it all, taking my mother and I with him. I am not him."

Scorpius snorted, "You're not a coward huh? Then why every time you get scared of living without mum, you go and try to kill yourself? Explain that, father, because to me that makes you a coward." He turned away from his father and walked over to Rose, "I'm out of here." He pushed past Hugo and they all stared at the empty doorway until they heard the door slam.

Rose and Hugo looked to their mother for what to do next, but she was in shock. What had she done? She swallowed and stood up from the table, "Children, go and find Scorpius. He can't have gone too far. Calm him down, get some ice cream, and then bring him back here. I'm sorry," she finished turning to Draco, "I didn't really mean for this to happen, Draco."

Draco didn't respond until Rose and Hugo had left the room. He plopped back into his chair and stared at his empty glass. She picked it up and looked at it more closely. When he'd finished detailing the glass, he placed it back down and looked towards Hermione, "I suppose you'll be drinking tonight?"

Grimacing, Hermione joined him back at the table. She crossed her right leg over her left and covered her face with her hands. She nodded and heard Draco grunt in acknowledgement. She removed her hands and lifted her face to look at him. He looked positively livid, there was actually some color is his face for once. She hadn't seen him look this way since back at Hogwarts. It gave her a thrill up her spine, but she didn't know why, so she suppressed it hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Yes, I will most likely be drinking tonight, but not until the children are all back here, safe sound, and asleep."

"I will be joining you."

Hermione nodded, "Alright."

"Good."

Hermione and Draco sat there staring at each other, just waiting for the children to return. The table remained covered with the remains of their dinner. Draco tapped his fingers upon the table and Hermione clasped her hands together in her lap. Why did things always have to be so screwed up between the two of them?

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**A/N: **Please Review! I look forward to seeing what you think!


	6. I Forgive You

**Author's Note**: It is time for some Draco POV! Who's excited? Sorry this took so long, I had a bit of writer's block, even though I have it all outlined, but I figured things out! Hope it's everything you all were waiting for! Thanks to Stonefeath10135 for beta-ing for me! She does a great job!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Six: I Forgive You

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"_I forgive you.  
We were just a couple of kids  
trying to figure out how to live doing it our way."  
—Kelly Clarkson_

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Draco drummed his fingers on the dining room table as he watched Hermione down her fourth tumbler of whiskey on the rocks. He ground his teeth together as she lifted the bottle to refill her glass, causing her to glare at him. They both said nothing as she topped off her drink and planted the bottle back on the table causing it to thud against the hard wood. Just a half hour ago they'd finally decided to clear off the table, and in the process, Hermione had gotten them both large glasses of whiskey to drink. He managed to control himself so far, but as soon as his son and her two kids were back home, he was going to get piss drunk himself. Now, if only Granger could hold it together a bit longer, he was sure they'd be back shortly.

As she tilted her drink to her lips, the ice rattled in the glass and Draco cleared his throat to tell her to slow down, but he never got the chance. She slammed the glass down and threw her hands up in the air.

"What Draco? What is it that you're dying to say to me? Is it that I shouldn't be drinking when something important is going on?"

Draco rolled his eyes and took a tiny sip of his own whiskey before answering her, "I don't give a fuck if you drink or not, but it's probably not a terrific idea for the kids to walk in and find you drunk out of your mind. Aren't you the one who is always saying how important it is for your children never to find out about your drinking habits? I believe you're the one with the custody war with your ex husband currently. I don't care if he finds out, but for some reason, I think you'd be shit out of luck if he did." He tipped his glass to her and then took another sip.

Hermione narrowed her eyes and pushed her glass away, nearly knocking it over in the process. Draco merely smirked at the effect his words had on her. He was never able to get a rise out of her back in school, well there were a few instances, but for the most part, she kept her cool. It was interesting to see this different side to the woman. She played the well put together working mom so well, but when the lights went out, she was this alcohol addicted time bomb. No wonder the Weasel had left when he did. If Astoria had been a raging alcoholic, he probably would have left her too. He'd grown up with alcoholism right under his own roof, and being here now was causing some unhappy memories of the past to visit him. But those memories were much easier to deal with than the pain he felt every time he thought of his dead wife.

"Fine, Draco. I'll control myself and not have any more whiskey until later. I wonder what's keeping them anyway. It's getting late."

Draco was just about to respond when they heard the front door open. He relaxed in his chair, but Hermione stood unsteadily and had to hold onto the back of her chair to keep from falling. With an inward groan, he stood up just in case he needed to help her from falling over. The whiskey they were drinking was pretty strong and he was actually feeling slightly tipsy from the small amount he'd already consumed. This was going to be a good night.

The three kids appeared in the doorway. Hugo smiling, still holding a half eaten ice cream cone, Scorpius with his arms crossed over his chest and adamantly glaring at his sneakers, and then there was Rose, who looked determined. She shoved Scorpius into the room causing him to stumble and then turn his head to glare at her. Rose simply raised her eyebrows at him and reached out to shove him again, but he dodged it this time. He cleared his throat and stepped up to his father.

"Father, I'm sorry for what I said, and for storming out."

Draco looked down at his son and felt his anger and hurt from earlier melt away. This was his only son; his only connection to Astoria that remained. If he pushed him away what would he have left? Probably just alcohol and razors; not something that exactly made you want to wake up every morning. Draco clasped his hand on Scorpius' shoulder and gave him a smile, "It's alright, son. Sometimes we all say things we shouldn't."

Scorpius nodded and then turned towards Hermione, "And I'm sorry for storming out of here and leaving a mess behind."

Draco prayed she wouldn't slur her words as she replied, "Don't worry about it Scorpius. I believe I did nothing to help the situation either." She gave him a wink and then smiled at her own children, "I think there's been enough excitement for one night. Why don't you all head upstairs, help Scorpius get unpacked in Hugo's room and then go to bed. But first, Hugo you either finish that ice cream or get rid of it. You know the rules; no food upstairs."

"Yes mum." Hugo replied happily slurping up the rest of his snack.

"Goodnight." Rose and Scorpius said to them all before leaving the room.

After they heard the trio all the way upstairs Draco watched as Hermione collapsed back into her chair and reached for her glass; downing all the contents in one swift gulp. Draco sighed heavily before joining her back at the table. He knew that he'd be helping Granger to bed tonight; it seemed she was determined to drink the entire bottle of whiskey herself. He reached for the bottle and topped off his glass and raised it to her.

"Here's to you, Granger; holding it together when inside, you're falling apart." He downed his drink and refilled it once more before she could respond.

"I've had years of practice."

"Yes, I know that, but it's fun to see it in person. Here I am, a suicide survivor, watching my supposed Healer self medicate with alcohol. It's ironic isn't it? How did the two of us stumble into each other this way?"

"I don't really know what you're going on about," she began pointing her finger at him, "but, if you're saying that I'm not a decent Healer, you better change your way of thinking. I am one of the highest ranked Healers at St. Mungo's. I save people's lives every _single_ day. I've even helped heal some of the most famous wizards in our world. After I left my job at the Ministry, I threw myself into Healer training. I traveled the world studying different techniques and learned plenty of new magic. Just because I failed one time, and I like my whiskey, does not mean I am incapable of healing you."

"I never said you were incapable, I'm just saying that you have a strange way of going about it. Why did you _really_ bring me here, Granger? Why am I living here watching you slowly kill your liver?"

She chuckled darkly at him, "First, don't think I haven't noticed that you're calling me Granger again, and second, I brought you here to help you…I apologize if it hasn't really been going the way you planned."

He stretched his legs out and thought about her response. She was right; things really weren't going the way he thought they would be. He thought he would be locked in a tiny room all day writing in a journal and constantly talking about his feelings. Instead, he was actually a living person in the household. He helped cook, clean, and even was permitted to participate in family activities. He was learning about Muggle devices such as the television and cellular phones. Most importantly he was learning how to not to depend on magic for every little thing…and in the process there were parts of the day, hours even, that he went without dwelling on his lost wife. Maybe Granger was doing her job after all. He smirked at his drinking companion and opened his hands.

"I will admit this is the most unconventional way of healing I have ever heard of or experienced, but it's not all bad."

Hermione smiled and lifted her glass to him, "I will take that as a compliment, thank you very much."

He laughed and lifted his glass up to clink against hers. They both smiled cheekily at one another before drinking from their glasses. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes and Draco heard the sound of bedroom doors closing upstairs. A glance at the clock on the wall indicated that it was nearly eleven thirty. The children must be finally going to sleep. Taking that as his cue, Draco poured himself a generous glass of the amber liquid and let it sit with the remnants of his ice before taking a sip. He watched Hermione as she picked at her fingernails and frowned. He always remembered her as a lip biter, not a nail biter. Then again, he had always been one to use magic to deal with his problems. This was one of her ways of coping; drinking and nail biting.

He sat up as he noticed a scar on her arm. It couldn't be, could it? He tried to get a better look, but she moved her arm to pick up her glass and the spot was again covered up. He glanced down at his own scar; the faded Dark Mark. It was supposed to have disappeared after the demise of the Dark Lord, but he and other former Death Eaters, still found a very pale outline of the offensive tattoo on their skin. In that moment Draco knew he had some deep apologizing to do to the witch who sat across from him drowning her sorrows in a glass of whiskey.

"Hermione," he began causing her to whip her face up to look at him, "I know we have briefly discussed this before, but there are some things that I want to apologize for; from the past."

"Come on, Draco, we've been over this. You—''

"Yes. I do."

She let her breath flow out through her nose and nodded so Draco sat up in his seat and placed his hands flat on the table. This would take all the courage and patience he had. He was not one for apologizing, but if he ever planned on getting over himself and his grief; this was something that he felt he needed to do. He'd done so much over the years to hurt her, and sure she said she was over it, but he wasn't. And unless he did this, right now, he suspected it would haunt him forever.

"When I was growing up, I had to follow the beliefs of my parents. I was homeschooled before Hogwarts, so I knew nothing of the Muggle world. I never learned about the good of Muggles; I was only taught to hate them. I was taught that if you were not a pureblood; you basically were worthless. I didn't encounter any Muggleborns until I boarded the train to Hogwarts. My parents, especially my father, instructed me not to befriend anyone outside of Slytherin because they were not worth my time…and I believed him. As a child I idolized my father; what a sham he turned out to be. When I discovered the Dark Lord's blood status I began to doubt the cause we were fighting for. Why should we destroy and exile Muggleborns? What was the point? There was none."

"But Draco this happened so long ago. Why does it matter so much to you now?" Hermione reached out and placed her hand on top of Draco's. She squeezed slightly, but he pulled it back to run through his hair.

"It matters because my beliefs back then shaped how I treated those around me. I acted like some sort of king; like everyone was below me because I was from one of the oldest wizarding families around. In reality; I was scum. It all started in first year for me. I treated you like you were dirt on the bottom of my precisely polished shoes." Hermione made to interrupt him again but he held his hand up to stop her and continued.

"I was only a kid, I know that, but I know I must have caused you some damage along the way. I threw verbal attacks and curses at you. I lost count somewhere along the way how many times I made your bag split causing your books to fall everywhere. I insulted your blood status, your hair, your teeth, and your intellect. Not to mention how I was always trying to find ways to get you, Potter, and Weasel into trouble. I got myself into trouble trying to get you three busted more than once."

Hermione laughed and Draco felt himself relax a bit. It was nice that she could be so calm and laid back about the things he was discussing. They _did_ happen over 25 years ago. But he wasn't finished yet. Before the night was over, he wanted to clean out his closet. He wanted a fresh conscience.

"So, Hermione, first, I want to apologize for the way I acted towards you while at Hogwarts. I should never have been like that with you. You were the smartest witch in school and your blood status should not have affected the way I looked at you."

Hermione finished the whiskey in her glass and stared at him with glazed eyes, "Draco, I have forgiven you for this a long time ago. I came to terms with the way you treated me years ago. You have nothing to worry about. I do not hate you any longer. In fact, I'm not sure I ever really hated you. Looking back I think I knew that you were just acting the way you thought you should. It's not a big deal. Now let's have some more to drink and relax before bed."

"There's a little bit more I want to apologize for."

Hermione gave him a puzzled look and asked, "What?"

Draco held out his hand and asked, "May I see your arm?"

"M-my arm?" She questioned pulling it close to her chest and trying to cover it with her sleeve. He nodded his head and stared her down, but not in a hostile way. He wanted her to know he was serious. He needed to see it. He wanted to face his fears. She looked down at her arm and then back up at his face. Her eyes seemed to be holding back unshed tears. Hermione swallowed, "Well, alright." She held out her arm.

She held out her hand and he took it in his. Her skin was surprisingly soft; he had never noticed before. This was the first time he'd touched her so gently. Normally he would just pick her up and carry her to bed after one of her drunken episodes. He never even thought twice about touching her, but now, he felt almost embarrassed as he slowly slid up her sleeve and revealed the smooth, pale skin of her forearm. She shivered at his touch, but he held strong. Unfortunately, the entire arm was not clean and flawless. There in an angry sort of red was the word he hated the most: Mudblood. He flinched when he saw it. In all the years since the war, it had not faded; it was still looked as fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

Glancing up he met her eyes. A few tears had escaped and were rolling freely down her cheeks. He watched as she used her other arm to attempt and dry them. He returned his attention to her scar, and as Hermione had done to his arms, he ran one gentle finger over the word. He felt her shiver again, and with one final glance, returned her sleeve to the way it was before, but he didn't let go of her hand. He stood and walked around the table until he was in front of her. Kneeling down he left go of her hand and used his thumb to rid her cheeks of the tears cascading down them.

"Don't cry Hermione."

"I don't mean to…it's just that having you looking at my scar; it brings back the memories of Bellatrix and the night she gave it to me. I haven't really thought about it for years. It's become a part of me; something I don't really even notice unless someone points it out."

"I want you to know how sorry I am about that night, Hermione."

"You don't need to be sorry for that…" she trailed off tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

"My own aunt tortured you in my own home while I stood by and did _nothing_."

Hermione leaned forward until their faces were merely inches apart, "If you had tried to stop her, Draco, she would have killed you, and then me."

"Maybe not…I was always her favorite, not that it was such a privilege, mind you, but if I had stopped her, you might not have that scar today. Potter and Weasley could have gotten you out of there without it."

She sighed and placed both hands on his shoulders, "Please do not beat yourself up over this. It happened so long ago…although I admit it was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life, I never held it against you. You bothering me in school, yes, I blamed you for that, but not this. Voldemort had taken control of your family and Manor; you were only doing what you felt was best. Plus, you did help us that day if you remember."

He shook his head causing his hair to fall onto his forehead, "What do you mean?"

"Don't you remember? You helped keep Harry's identity a secret. If you had told Bellatrix who he was right away, we'd all have been dead and Voldemort would be in control today, so you see, you helped save everyone."

"Looking back, I wish I had the courage to help you. I was such a coward back then…still am…"

Arms still on his shoulders, she shook him gently, "Stop that right now. You stop calling yourself that. Everything is in the past; I've moved on, and now it's time for you to move on as well. You will never get better if you keep dwelling on things. That's what I'm here working on with you."

He knocked his forehead into hers with a silly grin. He didn't know why he did that, but it felt right. Hermione threw her head back and laughed, so he supposed it wasn't a bad thing. Removing her hands from his shoulders he stood up and stretched. He still felt kind of upset, but the pain was leaving. Maybe Granger knew something about this healing thing after all. Plus it helped that they were getting along, well, for the most part. The firewhiskey didn't hurt either.

Standing by the table, Draco picked up the nearly empty bottle of whiskey and took a swig. He didn't bother with a glass. Hermione quirked an eyebrow at him and held out her hand for the bottle which he handed her. She took a swig as well and attempted to stand. She stumbled but Draco caught her just in time. With a little effort he had her standing under his arm and the bottle in his empty hand.

"Come on, Hermione. I think it's time for you to get to bed. It's been a long day for the both of us."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Will you help me?"

"Sure." He set the bottle on the table and guided her upstairs; she was drunker tonight than she'd been in a while, so he found that he was carrying her more than guiding her. She was rambling about something she wanted to make for dinner tomorrow and he just nodded his head. When they reached her bedroom door he helped her through it and sat her on the bed. She immediately began taking off her shirt.

"Hermione, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Draco sputtered as he turned his back to her quickly. First off, he didn't need to be seeing Granger in her undergarments, and second, he didn't feel it would be right, seeing how he still loved his deceased wife and everything. Hermione simply laughed at his outburst.

"Oh, stop freaking out, Draco," she slurred, "You can turn around now. I'm under the covers."

Draco turned back around and walked over to the bed. Hermione was propped against the pillows with the quilt up to her chin. She had a huge grin on her face and was tapping the bed next to her indicating that Draco should have a seat. He obliged and then pulled his legs fully up onto the bed so he could lounge. Obviously she wasn't ready to go to sleep just yet. Maybe he could explain some things to her.

"Hermione, did you know that my mother is a recovering alcoholic?" He asked her simply, without meeting her eyes.

"No, I didn't. I'd never heard that before."

"Yes, it wasn't well known. Mostly just our family and our close group of friends knew; mother didn't want people to know. She got sober after the war." He smoothed out the quilt beside him and leaned down, propping his head up with his hand. Hermione was staring at him with a curious expression on her face. She was most likely going to grill him about his mother now, but that's what he wanted.

"Why did she get sober?"

"She was tired of being drunk all the time. During the war, it seemed like no big deal to her I guess; she was trying to deal with the world, the war, and everything that was going on under our roof. After the war ended she made my father throw out all the alcohol in the Manor, and when we moved to France, she wouldn't let anyone bring any into the chateau. She hasn't touched a drop since, and to be honest, I try not to drink around her. She's finally happy. After the life she had with my father she deserves this happiness."

Hermione nodded solemnly and then ran a hand through her hair. She seemed deep in thought about something, but it was hard to tell about what. She could take the conversation in many different directions. It was a bit unnerving how relaxed and at ease Draco had come to feel in her presence. It was as if he could tell her anything. In that moment, he knew that he would answer any question she threw at him. No more lies, no more dodging questions, and especially, no more holding back. He owed her that much at least.

"I think that someday, I'd like to get sober. I'm not ready right now."

"Why not?"

"I just know that I wouldn't be able to do it."

"You're Hermione Granger; the brightest with of your age, and you don't think you can get sober?"

"Well, not on my own, anyway. I couldn't do what your mother did. I'm not brave enough."

"You're kidding me right?" Draco shook his head at her, "You're a Gryffindor." He was shocked to hear her saying she was a coward about something. It just didn't mesh with the image he'd always had of her. She'd always been so brave in his eyes. Something had gone wrong with this witch, and he hoped that someday, she'd be able to overcome it.

"I am not _joking_ around, Draco. Someday, I will deal with this problem, but for now, I'm…fine living the way I do."

Instead of replying right away, Draco sat in silence staring out the window. The buzz from the whiskey was finally wearing off and was starting to be replaced with a dull throbbing behind his eye. He should probably get some sleep, but for some reason, he couldn't tear himself away from the conversation just yet.

Hermione leaned over and clicked off the lamp and snuggled deeper into the quilt. He thought she was showing that she was ready to go to sleep, but as he went to get up from the bed, she stopped him.

"Why was your mother so unhappy, Draco?"

He settled back down and sat up straight, "He used to abuse her; not physically, but mentally and verbally. Sometimes, he would cast a freezing spell on her and then just scream in her face. It hadn't always been like that though. They used to just fight, mostly, but then as the war came on it became more sadistic, and it drove her to drinking. After the war, he just stopped; cold turkey, just like mother stopped her drinking."

In the dark, Draco watched Hermione slowly shaking her head as she took it all in, "You had a rough life."

"I guess you could say that. It wasn't what I had always wanted, but it turned out alright in the end. My father got what was coming to him, my mother is finally in love and happy, and I have my…my son."

"Astoria would want you to be happy, you know? You can find your happiness again someday."

"I know…but _I'm_ not ready yet."

"Touché."

They laughed a little and then Draco finally stood up, "I think I'm going to get some sleep. You should do the same. I'll check in on you in the morning; there's some hangover potion in your bedside drawer if you need it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Draco headed towards the door, opened it, and stepped into the hallway. He was just about to pull the door closed, when Hermione once again stopped him.

"_Malfoy_?" It came out in a teasing sort of tone, so he decided to tease right back.

"What is it, _Granger_?" He smirked and could just make out her face in the dim light from the hallway that flooded the room.

"I forgive you." She said it in a serious tone, and it made Draco have chills all over. He didn't know what to say so he simply nodded his head towards her and shut the bedroom door quietly. Leaning his back against it, he heard her begin to cry on the other side. He ran a hand over his tired face and sank his head into his chest with a deep sigh.

This thing they had going on was more complicated than it should be.

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**A/N: Thank you to **ExTaCy925**, **Dramione-Fan 17**, **StoneFeather30135**, and **irishbabygrl** for reviewing the last chapter! Please review! It would be nice to see more of you reviewing! Even if you do it anonymously OR without logging in! Also, you can always look for me on tumblr (dustnight25832)! Yes, it used to be, satink06, but I changed it. I am also thinking of changing my pen name on here to that as well! So keep a look out for it! **


	7. Prisoner

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the delay. I have no excuse. HA! Anyway, I know you all will love this chapter! Thanks for **StoneFeather30135** for fixing the crazy mistakes I had in this one since I was rushing to finish! Also notice that I have changed my pen name from SaTiNk06 to **DustNight25832**. Enjoy lovelies!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except my plot.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Seven: Prisoner

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"_I'm prepared for all the consequences  
Believe me, I have the worst intentions."—Jefree Star_

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"Hurry up, Hugo. If you don't get a move on you're going to miss the train." Hermione frantically ushered her son through King's Cross station with Draco and Scorpius following behind. Rose was already well ahead, and close to entering the barrier between platforms nine and ten, while Hugo slowly meandered through the crowd looking for a snack machine. "There will be an opportunity to purchase snacks on the train!"

Hugo threw a pouting look over his shoulder and huffed. "I know, mum, but I'm hungry _now_," he whined, "Besides, what if I miss the trolley while I'm in the Prefects meeting?"

"Then I am sure you can ask one of your friends to grab you something while you're gone. I don't see what the problem is. You had _three_ helpings of pancakes at breakfast."

Hugo rolled his eyes and followed Rose through the barrier. Hermione turned and received a half smile from Draco as he pushed for Scorpius to go next. After the three kids had all disappeared through the brick wall, Hermione hesitated, which caused Draco to stop as well. He turned and placed a hand on her forearm. She gave him a grateful smile, "Ron will be in there, you know."

"Yes," he said tentatively as he removed his hand to run it though his hair, "You'll be fine."

She laughed, "I was more worried about you."

"I am here to send my son off to school. I have every right to be here, just as he does, so I will not allow myself to worry about Ronald _fucking_ Weasley and his _prejudice_ against me."

He took her hand then and casually leaned against the barrier pulling her with him, a small smile playing at her lips. It was true he had every right to be there, and she, well, she had every right to be there with him. The war was long over, her prejudices were long gone, and apparently so were Draco's. As they entered the platform Hermione took a deep breath and Draco let go of her hand to go and find Scorpius. Hermione moved out of the way of the barrier and began scanning the area for her son and daughter. She immediately found Rose laughing with Scorpius near the front of the train, closest to the Head's compartment, and then she spotted Hugo…he was talking to his father.

With an inward groan and a deep breath, Hermione strutted over to her ex and her son, glad to notice that Harry and Ginny were standing close by with their children. Good. That meant that maybe Ron would keep his ignorant comments to himself for once. "Hugo, you forgot your money." Hermione began searching through her purse, looking for Hugo's pouch as she stopped next to him.

"Oh, no need, Hermione. I took care of it."

Her head snapped up and she narrowed her eyes at Ron, "What do you mean?" Her hand closed around Hugo's pouch, and she held it steady in her hand, letting her purse fall back beside her hip. She swallowed hard, hoping to keep her emotions in check; after all, they were surrounded by other people.

"I figured you wouldn't have the extra money to give the children, so I just gave them both a good bit to last until the holidays." He sniffed haughtily and placed his hands in the pockets of his robes. Hermione stared at him incredulously as she placed the pouch into Hugo's outstretched hand.

"And what _exactly_ does that mean, Ronald?" She pulled her hand back after Hugo took the money and placed it on her hip. "Are you insinuating that I do not make enough money to support _my_ children?" Her voice was dreadfully cold and Hugo slowly backed away from the pair, moving towards his aunt and uncle. Hermione ignored his departure and continued to glare at Ron who was standing there nonchalantly as if there wasn't a problem at all.

"I just figured that with that scoundrel living under your roof, and the fact that you haven't been to work in weeks, you may not have the extra money to give Rose and Hugo for the semester." He picked an imaginary piece of lint from his robes and then returned his hand to the pocket.

Hermione inhaled sharply and pointed her finger at him, "Don't you _even_ go there, Ronald. I have plenty of money saved up—so much even, that I could take _months_ off from work and live comfortably! I'm not the one who goes out to fancy restaurants every other night and takes ridiculously expensive trips all over the world. That's you. Ever since Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes went global, you've acted like your some sort of millionaire extraordinaire! I have money to give my children, so don't you _dare_ try to belittle me." She used her finger to probe him in the chest after her little rant and he had the audacity to snort at her.

"No need to get all defensive, Hermione. I was simply saving you the money. This way you can buy food for your prisoner." He went to turn away from her, but she didn't let him, grabbing onto his arm and causing him to whirl back to face her.

"Draco is not my _prisoner_. He is my _patient_, and I think it best that you get it through your befuddled mind." She turned and pointed towards Draco who was laughing and having a pleasant conversation with Rose and Hugo. "Does that look like a crazed Death Eater menace to you? No, because he's normal like the rest of us. He cares about his son, and he's nice to our children. He's not the man he used to be…and neither are you, Ronald Weasley!"

Ron narrowed his eyes as he looked where Hermione pointed. "How dare he talk to my daughter. I'm going over there right this second." He made to move, but luckily at that moment Harry stepped up and put his arm around him with a huge, but fake, grin on his face.

"Hey you two, not fighting in public, are we?"

Ginny stood next to Hermione, looking anxiously between her friend and her brother. Harry continued, "People are starting to look over here. What's going on?" He never dropped the smile on his face and Ginny placed a comforting hand on Hermione's arm.

Ron went to speak first, but Ginny shut him up with a glare, so Hermione spoke, "Oh Ron here was just insulting my financial status and planned on going over there to embarrass Draco, his son, _and_ our daughter."

"Ron! What's wrong with you?" Ginny let go of Hermione to cross her arms in front of her chest. "You shouldn't start a scene here."

Harry frowned at his long time friend. "He shouldn't be starting a scene at _all_. There's nothing wrong with Malfoy talking to Rose, and why are you insulting Hermione? Quit being such a prat." Harry let his arm fall away from his friend's shoulders and turned towards Hermione. "You okay?"

"Besides being completely infuriated, I'm fine." She smiled sarcastically for Ron's benefit and the five minute warning whistle sounded from the train. She sighed and looked towards her children. "I'm going to say goodbye. I'd appreciate it if you gave me a minute before coming over and ruining it."

Ron made to open his mouth in retort, but Harry elbowed him into silence. Hermione rolled her eyes at his antics and walked over to Rose and Hugo who were both standing and looking upset by the front of the train. She smiled warmly at them and gave each a long lingering hug. "You two be good and study hard, alright?" She held a hand of each of theirs and they clasped hands as well, forming a little circle. "The holidays will be here before you know it, and we'll be together again."

"I promise to write every week," whispered Rose, her voice thick with emotion. She truly was her mother's daughter. "I'm nervous…"

"Don't be nervous, darling; you're going to be a great Head Girl." She turned to her son. "And you, Hugo, will be a great Prefect…just keep the pranks to a minimum, and you'll be fine."

Hugo sniggered, "I'll try, mum."

"Good, now you two say goodbye to your father and get on the train before it leaves" She squeezed their hands and let go, giving each a small kiss on the cheek. She had to laugh when Hugo made a fake gagging noise and swiped it away, but she saw the slight blush and smile creep onto his face as she turned to walk away. She loved her children deeply, and wished she got to spend more time with them, but it was what it was.

She walked backwards and straight into someone as she watched Ron smothering her kids with words and fake promises. She looked behind her to find Draco standing there watching as well. He looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. "Disgusting, isn't it," he asked with a quick smile before returning his gaze to the sight.

She simply nodded as Ron ushered them onto the train. She was glad when he spotted someone he wanted to talk to and walked in the opposite direction of them. Hermione sighed and turned to face Draco. "How was Scorpius with leaving you?"

Draco shrugged. "I guess alright. He seemed reluctant to leave, but I told him to go and enjoy his last year at Hogwarts because if he didn't, he'd wonder about it forever."

"Like us."

"Yes, exactly like us…but wait, didn't you go back?" He quirked that eyebrow again and it was Hermione who shrugged this time.

"I only went back to take my NEWTs. That's all. I wish the war had happened after seventh year…but then again…"

"I would have still missed it, and you and Potter would have never found all those Horcuxes in time." She tucked a curl behind her ear at the comment then began looking for Harry and Ginny. The train whistle blew before she spotted them, causing her and Draco to turn to watch as the scarlet Hogwarts Express left the station. They stood there until it was completely gone; Hermione feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness as her daughter went off for her last year. Time was always moving forward, wasn't it?

She finally caught sight of Harry and Ginny and pointed them out to Draco. "I just want to go and say goodbye, if you don't mind."

Draco followed her finger with his eyes. "Sure. May I come with you?"

"Alright."

The two made their way through the departing crowd of parents and family members brushing past them, but were stopped by some harsh laughter before they had even gotten halfway. Hermione turned and frowned; Ron was standing near them with his arm around Padma Patil's shoulder. Padma looked a bit uncomfortable with the situation, but then again, she _was_ wearing a huge ruby pendant necklace that settled between the cleavage shown by her low cut, skin tight, black dress. So this was Ron's new girlfriend? By the size of that ruby it was hard to be sure if she was his girlfriend, or his prize. Hermione sent an angry look in his direction before starting to move again, Draco close behind, but Ron had taken Padma's hand and followed after them. She decided to ignore her ex and his pettiness as she managed to get close to Harry and Ginny.

"I see your prisoner is still following you around, Hermione."

The fact that Ron's comment didn't even make sense wasn't what bothered her enough to turn around; it was the fact that Padma actually laughed at him that made her stop in her tracks and whip around so quickly that Draco was forced to grab her shoulders to steady his self. He apologized and stepped aside as Hermione surged past him to get to Ron.

"What was that, Ronald?" She asked getting right up in his face, causing Padma to have to let go of her boyfriend's arm to move away. "If you have something to say to me, you better say it to my face." She was seeing red, and it _wasn't_ Ron's perfectly gelled hair.

Ron chuckled darkly at her and took a step back, "I was just pointing out how well you have him _trained_. He just follows along after you so willingly. It must be such a strain for him, considering how much he used to loath you and other Muggleborns." Ron's gaze flicked over Hermione's shoulder to rest on Draco's narrowed eyes. Draco was holding it together rather well, considering the person he hated most in the world was insulting him. It wasn't Draco who lost their cool, though, it was Hermione.

"How dare you say such a thing, Ronald?" She took a step forward so she was once again right in front of his face. "You have no right to speak to him like that, or me, for that matter. You're completely barbaric!"

"It's all right, Hermione. Let him make a fool out of himself. He's not worth it." Draco came forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, in what seemed a way to calm her down. This only added to Ron's fuel however.

Ron smiled cruelly. "It appears you have him better trained than I thought. He's now calling you by your first name and attempting to protect you. How touching."

Hermione arched her eyebrow and looked towards Padma. "Well, it seems you have Padma trained as well." She motioned towards her former schoolmate. "Tell me, Ronald, did you give her that lovely ruby necklace before, or _after_, you fucked her?"

Many things happened at once from the words Hermione uttered. First, Padma gasped and flung a hand up to her throat at the same time Ron spat out, "You bitch," before attempting to lunge for Hermione. Luckily, Draco was there to force his way in front of her, using his left arm to shove her behind his back. It was at that time that Harry came running up from behind to separate them. "What the bloody hell is going on over here?" Harry hissed, moving his head from one wizard to the other. Padma was crying and Ginny had placed her arm around Hermione.

Draco was glaring at Ron who was breathing quite heavily. "Ask your dear old friend here; he's been instigating problems with Hermione again." He thrust his chin towards Ron. Ron straightened up and fixed his robes that had slipped in his attempt to get at his ex wife.

"_Me_? Hermione is clearly insane. She just insulted my girlfriend for no reason!"

"No reason," Draco laughed, "You're insulting her sanity, judgment, and character. She has _every_ right to lash out; you do nothing but put her down!"

Harry sighed heavily. "Alright. I get it. Now will you all calm down? Everyone is starting to stare. We're all War Heroes here; this will surely make the front page if it gets out. They love to gossip, and I'm sure all of you could do without bad press."

Ginny spoke up from the back, "Ronald, what if your children were here? How can you treat their mother the way you do? I don't even understand what happened to you." She shook her head and dropped her hand from Hermione to run it through her red hair.

Ron threw his hands into the air. "This is just hilarious; all of it. I'm always made out to be the bad guy; well not this time. I'm done. I'll be contacting the lawyers first thing tomorrow morning. There is no way in hell I'm allowing my children to come and stay with you during the holidays, Hermione. You're too unstable and you have this piece of filth living under your roof." He gestured roughly towards Draco.

Draco cracked his knuckles as Hermione stepped forward again. "You have nothing to go on, Ronald. You won't win." She placed her hand warmly on Draco's arm to calm him and spoke straight into Ron's eyes, "Draco will probably be gone by then, and I am completely sane; angry, but sane."

"I'm done playing games with you Hermione. This time I'm not messing around; the lawyers are going to hear about, _everything_. They're going to hear about _this_ little episode, not to mention your dirty little secret." Ron smiled and put his hand in Padma's, who was drying her face with a tissue.

Harry looked back and forth between his two best friends and asked, "What do you mean, dirty little secret?" At the same time, Hermione whispered angrily, "Ron, you wouldn't."

"Oh, don't you know Harry? Hermione has been hiding a very big secret all these years. I thought _you_ of all people, would know. Malfoy here knows, seeing as he lives with her." He leveled his gaze on Draco who took a step forward, past Hermione.

Ginny cleared her throat, "Ron, what in Merlin's name are you going on about?"

It wasn't Ron, or even Hermione, who answered the question though; it was Padma, who had cleared her face of tears and had stuck her nose in the air.

"Hermione is an alcoholic."

Draco rubbed his hands over his face at the looks on Harry and Ginny's faces. Hermione had inhaled sharply and flung herself at Ron; this time Draco let her go, but Harry caught her at the last second before she barreled into Ron. "No Hermione, don't." He whispered, righting her as Ginny came up to hold her protectively.

"You promised you wouldn't say anything, Ron…" Hermione began to sob into Ginny's jacket. Harry turned towards Ron. "You're seriously not going to try and get full custody of Rose and Hugo? It will destroy her."

"I will do whatever I need to in order to make sure my children are safe, and if that means keeping them from their mother; so be it." He turned away, "Now if you all don't mind, Padma and I have lunch reservations." In a pop that Hermione would remember forever, the two Disapparated.

Harry turned to Draco. "Is he right? Is she really an alcoholic?"

Draco simply nodded and Harry pulled Hermione from his wife's grasp so he could look into her face. "Hermione, I don't understand why Ron is being this way, but it won't happen, okay. We won't let him take Rose and Hugo away from you."

Ginny crossed her arms across her chest. "Who gives a flying piss if Hermione likes to drink? She's a great mother and the lawyers will see that."

Hermione sniffed and wiped at her face. "Thank you. I hope you're right. Ron has been keeping my secret for so long; I'm sorry for not telling you sooner…I'm embarrassed by it."

Giving her a lopsided smile and Harry shrugged. "It's alright. You just get yourself better and everything will be fine. It'll work out."

She nodded back, and a few minutes later the four said their goodbyes. Hermione didn't feel any better about the situation though. Ron had gotten to her, and that was not good. Who knew what kind of meeting he'd have with the lawyers tomorrow. Harry was right; she needed to get clean. Unfortunately, all she could think about was having a drink—right now.

Hermione sat on a bench until platform 9 ¾ had completely cleared out. Draco stood with his back to her, arms crossed, watching as the station workers cleared any garbage away. She was glad he was giving her some space because she really needed to think. She came today knowing that it would be difficult dealing with Ron, but she hadn't known exactly how hard it would be. She was glad to know that Harry and Ginny had her back—but at the same time she didn't want to cause friction with the Weasleys. After hours of sitting there, Hermione finally stood to leave. Draco turned slowly to face her; his hands splayed out in front of him.

"Can I take you to dinner?" He asked her simply, his face a mask of emotions. Hermione smiled shyly before shrugging.

"Sure. Why not?"

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Draco took Hermione to a little Italian restaurant located in Muggle London. It was a surprise that he even knew of it, and Hermione smiled thinking that maybe Draco knew more about Muggles than she gave him credit for. They were seated quickly and Draco immediately ordered a bottle of white wine; Hermione's favorite. Hermione was still pretty wound up from the ordeal at the station and she couldn't concentrate on deciding what to eat. Sipping the wine was helping her to calm down though. Luckily, when the waitress came over, Draco ordered fettuccini alfredo for the both of them before picking up a piece to bread to butter. Taking a small bite of the fresh bread, he finally looked up at her; a smile playing on his lips.

"Good show today, Granger."

She blushed and felt flustered all over again. She was starting to understand that when he called her _Granger_ he was playing with her. She felt rather warm in the restaurant, so she shrugged out of her sweater. "I don't see what's so funny, Draco. Today was not a good day." She snatched up a piece of bread and reached for the butter and knife to help herself. She glowered in her seat, thinking of what a huge mess today had been and the even larger mess she was going to have to deal with tomorrow.

Draco chuckled lightly before trying again. "Hermione, I can leave, you know. I don't have to stay."

Hermione shot him a glare. "Don't be ridiculous, Draco. You'll end up having to stay at St. Mungo's. Today was just a little blip. Everything will work out." Inside she wasn't so sure though. Today seemed to be a large mistake. She wasn't sure how to come back from it. At least Harry and Ginny had been there for her. Finishing her piece of bread she sipped some more wine while contemplating her next move. Draco wasn't finished discussing the matter however.

"So does Harry always take your side in an argument, or is this a special case?" He was smirking at her over the rim of his wineglass. Hermione scowled. She wasn't sure this was safe territory to be heading into. With a sigh and a refill of her own glass, she decided she might as well humor Draco and answer his questions. He always answered hers.

"Harry agrees with whomever is right, Draco. He does not favor one of us more than the other. He never has. Ron was his best friend first before I came along. I would never ask him to take my side. It just so happens, that Ron has gone off the deep end lately."

"What do mean _lately_? I feel like he's always been a bit crazy." Draco laughed and bit into the fresh bread chewing slowly as he regarded Hermione's face.

"It's no secret to you that Ron and I didn't have the best marriage. I've explained it to you already, but you don't know how he changed once he became vice president of George's company. He's become a power and money hungry person, and he doesn't stop until he gets what he wants…or destroys it in the process."

"You're telling me that Ron Weasley has money?"

Hermione nodded rolling her eyes at the same time before setting her glass down. "About a year, or so, ago Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes went global. George and Ron opened storefronts in Cannes, Salem, Brazil, Sweden, and Japan. Really anywhere near a Wizarding school. Let's just say that business is booming. Ron lives in a very large house in the countryside near his parent's home. He owns part of the Holyhead Harpries, the Quidditch team Ginny played for, and he is also a partial owner of The Three Broomsticks Inn."

"The Three Broomsticks…in Hogsmeade?" Draco was staring at her like she'd lost her mind.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, the same one. He's always had a sort of _thing_ for Madam Rosmerta."

"That's hilarious." Draco was laughing, dabbing his napkin at the corner of his eyes to catch fake tears.

"Yes, Ginny and I thought so too. "

"So all of this is why he's mental? Come on Hermione, I know he wasn't all there before he became 'rich'."

"Will you hold on? I'm getting there." Hermione buttered another piece of bread in preparation for her meal that should be arriving any moment, before she decided to continue. "Anyways, he started acting like he was some sort of big shot just because he was able to afford all of these things. He began dating many different women, none of which lasted very long, and buying them lavish gifts. Like the necklace Padma was wearing; I'm pretty certain I've seen that on another girlfriend of his, but I could be wrong. I think he felt that now he was able to afford everything he wanted, so Harry would want to be around him all the time. However, Harry has gone his whole life striving to have a normal, simple life. Sure, he and Ginny have money in their vault at Gringotts, but that doesn't mean they're going to flaunt it about and spend it like there's no tomorrow."

Their fettuccini arrived then and Draco asked for a second bottle of wine. Hermione ate a few bites savoring the creamy sauce on her tongue. It felt like heaven to be able to relax with a bottle of wine and have a good meal with Draco. Usually there would be some tension, but tonight, it felt easy to be with him. The conversation wasn't half bad either. Although, she did have to admit that it was quite strange. Draco was the one to start the conversation back up.

"Okay, so Ron doesn't know how to handle his new found wealth. What does that have to do with anything? You're losing me here." He twirled some pasta onto his fork and popped it into his mouth all the while quirking that eyebrow at her.

"Basically, no; he's a huge arse and no one can stand to be around him. This isn't the first time he's threatened taking custody of the children either. That's why I usually just let Rose and Hugo stay with him when I know I'll be working long stretches at the hospital. I've never wanted to rock the boat. Now though, now, I realize how much it would hurt to never be able to see my kids again. I don't think I could go on…"

"It'll work out Hermione, and I know you keep hearing that, but I mean it. He won't really take them."

Hermione sighed and pushed her half eaten plate away from her opting for the wine instead. "I don't know Draco. He seemed one hundred percent serious this time. I've never seen him that angry, although, I've never acted that way before. I shouldn't have said that about Padma. She was always so nice."

"Ron told her your secret."

"He was going to tell everyone anyway, and if he told Padma, what other girlfriends of his know?" The thought made her sick to her stomach and she set down her glass a bit forcefully so that the wine sloshed over the side. Ron was like this toxic drug that kept bringing her down. Why hadn't she seen it before? He brought out the worst in her, and today she'd lashed out. She didn't even recognize herself anymore. All she did was work, drink, and sleep. Tucking her head down, a single tear fell from her eye before she slammed her eyes closed to stop it from becoming a full blown cry fest.

Draco's voice sounded strained when he spoke, causing her to lift her head to look back at him, "Hermione, I'm going to say it again: I can leave if you think that it would be best for me to be out of the picture. I do not want to be responsible for Rose and Hugo not being able to see their mother. I couldn't live with that."

Hermione squeezed her hands into a ball in her lap before whispering, "Do you want to leave, Draco?"

"Should I?"

"No."

"Then I will stay until you wish me to leave."

Hermione swallowed the thickness that had developed in her throat. She felt like crying, though she knew not why. All she wanted was to curl up in her bed and…cry? Why? This was ridiculous. She pushed her chair away from the table and stood, grabbing her sweater and purse. "I'm going to go outside. I need some air." Turning away before he could respond, she briskly made her way outside, inhaling the cool, evening air deep into her lungs. She closed her eyes and leaned against the side of the building, listening to the vehicles rushing past. The wind blew through her hair and she slowly opened her eyes, wondering how long she'd been standing there, only to discover Draco was standing by the curb with his back to her.

He looked over his shoulder at her, concern clouding his silver eyes. "Are you ready to go home?"

"We need to pay."

"Taken care of."

She stepped forward. "What? No, Draco, let me get it."

His body came around to face her completely. "Hermione, I asked you to dinner; it's my treat. Now let's go. You look like you could use a good night's sleep."

"That would be nice," she said as she slid her sweater on. "Lead the way."

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A few hours later found Draco and Hermione laying on her bed, an empty bottle of Firewhisky sitting on the nightstand. The lamp was off, so the only light within the room was that which spilled in from the hallway. For once, Draco felt as drunk as Hermione probably was. He was listening to her ramble about her duties at work while he stared at the ceiling above. Ever since he'd jumped in front of her at the station he couldn't quite shake this strange feeling. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but whatever it was, made him feel guilty. Guilty for being around the woman, and he knew this was completely irrational.

"Draco are you even listening to me?" He heard her say this as if from far away, and it wasn't until he felt her toe nudge the side of his leg that he turned his face to look at her. Her hair was a frizzy mess falling across her face in waves. The hallway light glinted off of her eyes, making them shine, and Draco felt his heart skip a beat. What the hell was this? He still loved Astoria for Merlin's sake.

"Yes, I heard you."

"Good. Then you heard that I'll be going back to work Monday morning and you'll have to find ways to entertain yourself while I'm not home."

Draco had to clear his throat before speaking, "I'll manage."

She smiled and plopped back onto her back, the bed shifting slightly from her movements, causing their hips to touch. Her head was near his feet and his head was near her feet. Draco had his arms resting behind his head while Hermione used hers as she talked and talked and talked. Sometimes when she got drunk, she would be very chatty, while other times she would cry. Tonight was a talkative night which surprised him considering the day they had.

"How do you feel you've been doing here? Is it working for you? I can change the treatment if you need me to."

Draco decided to be honest with her. She would know if he was lying anyway; she always knew. "I feel better every day that I am here with you." Wait that came out wrong. With her? Is that what he meant to say? "Just don't give up on me, okay, Granger? I want to get better."

He lifted his head to see her reaction, hoping that she'd ignored the 'with you' comment. She was giving him a look that made him feel as if she could see right into his soul, and that made him feel even more uncomfortable and guilty than before.

"I won't give up on you, Draco. I never give up." She reached a hand over and grabbed his to squeeze gently, but before he could squeeze back or register the bolt of electricity that seemed to ignite within his chest, her hand was back to laying on her chest. It wasn't even a year from the death of his wife, and he was feeling sparks for another woman. Not just any woman at that; Hermione Granger. The know-it-all he'd tortured and loathed in school. This was just great. Maybe he should leave after all, but then again, she didn't want him to.

And he didn't want to leave either.

She was just supposed to be his Healer, his friend, his companion throughout this journey of healing. What was going on? Should he mention to Hermione that he might be starting to look at her as something more than a friend? Could this even be considered that? Was a simple little pull of the heart really full cause for panic? Was he dishonoring the memory of Astoria by caring for another woman? Too many questions to answer and no answers to be had; what was he going to do?

Leaning back up he found that sometime during his mental tirade of himself that Hermione had slipped off to sleep. She was slightly curled into her side with one hand under cheek while the other one, the one that had held his hand, was bunched up into her chest. Her chest was rising and falling softly, the air coming through her nose moving the few piece of hair that fells across her face. This was the first time Draco actually had the chance to watch her sleep peacefully. It was so different than dealing with the puking and sobbing Hermione Granger, that he was momentarily taken aback. Feeling relaxed himself, he let his eyes fall closed with his emotions raging inside his chest, only to be woken a few minutes later by a soft sort of crying.

Draco's eyes snapped open and right to Hermione's face. She was still asleep, but tears were falling from her closed eyes and her breathing was ragged. Not knowing what to do, Draco scooted up so he could sit against the headboard, before gently pulling her into his arms. He cradled her head in his lap, soothingly rubbing his hand across her back until her breathing calmed and the tears slowed. If she woke, Draco didn't know what he'd do. He was fairly certain that she'd slipped from her nightmare into a peaceful sleep.

Hermione felt comfortable in his arms; soft and warm, and almost as if she belonged there. Draco smoothed her hair from her face and leaned down, taking in the feel of her skin beneath his fingers. Her cheeks were still slightly damp, but the skin was smooth. Before he knew what he was doing, Draco leaned down and trailed his lips against her cheek. His lips felt so cold against her skin, but she didn't stir from her slumber. Taking the pull in his chest as a good sign, he let his lips slide a bit slower until they were at the corner of her mouth. Still Hermione did not move.

With a sharp intake of breath, and a push of courage that he didn't know he had; Draco closed his eyes and lifted his lips, before placing them fully onto Hermione's. It was as if the world slowed down and time disappeared. The pull in his chest became so great that Draco was forced to move his head back, staring into her face, praying to Merlin that she didn't wake. He was being pulled in two directions; one way to kiss her again, and the other, fearing that Astoria would never forgive him.

Astoria was dead.

The thought slammed into Draco's mind so hard that his head flopped back with a dull thud against the headboard. He would stay here tonight with Hermione, but never again could he kiss her. The pain in his chest was every indication of that. He loved Astoria. Hermione was his Healer. It had to stay that way. His heart simply couldn't handle anything else right now.

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**A/N: **Please leave a review! Thanks to **thatsjustusxx**, **ExTaCy925**, and **Dramione-Fan 17**, for the lovely reviews for the last chapter! I appreciate it!


	8. Help

**Author's Note**: Love me or hate me…but I managed to get a chapter written for you. It's shorter than I normally write, but I wanted to write, so here it is. I have missed you all! Please review if you can!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Eight: Help

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"_I'm sick and tired of being afraid.  
If I cry anymore then my tears will wash me away.  
But when I hear you call my name,  
I whisper the word that I never thought I'd ever say__."—Hurts_

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As promised, Hermione returned to work the Monday after the incident at King's Cross. Everything seemed to resume a normal schedule and it had been a few weeks since she had heard from Ron. She had been surprised that her lawyer had not contacted her about what had happened. However, she was not going to poke the sleeping dragon. Letting him be, she felt, was the best way to go. Besides, she was back at work full time in the ER, and Ernie was even having her work on the Psych floor now and then too. He kept telling her it was good practice for working with Draco.

And speaking of Draco, Ernie was constantly hounding her on his progress. She assured him that he was doing better, and he was, but Ernie kept wanting to see for himself. Draco refused to visit the hospital just yet—he was afraid it would send him into one of his fits. Hermione couldn't really blame him, so she was forced to tell Ernie that Draco did not wish to see him. Ernie said he would come to her house, but Hermione refused this as well. She knew he had feelings for her, and basically, she was far from interested. She had too much going on right now to try and have a relationship with anyone.

She was trying to get sober. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. Draco asked her why she didn't just go and get professional help, but she was afraid that the news would get out that she had a problem. She was embarrassed. Hermione Granger, War Hero, The Brightest Witch of her Age—all these things would crumble if the world new of her alcoholism. No, it was better to try and deal with this on her own. She was doing what she always did; reading. She had purchased a number of self-help books from a Muggle shop (so no one she knew would see her), and doing as much research on Alcoholism as possible. For the most part it was working, but there were days where work would just be too much and to the bottle she would go.

Today was quickly turning into one of those days. The ER had been busy and Ernie was due to "check up on Draco" any moment. Hermione was trying to finish her paperwork for the day as quickly as possible and get the heck out of there before he made an appearance. No such luck though—there was a knock at the door and Ernie's head popped in.

"Hey, Hermione! You have a minute?" He was completely inside her office now and she quickly checked to make sure she had put away the book she had been reading during her lunch. She had.

"Just a minute, really. I am exhausted. I'm at the end of a two day stretch and I have another starting tomorrow night." She placed her finished paperwork into the "Out" bin on her desk and made to stand up. Ernie had a seat across from her so she was forced to sit back down.

"I just wanted to see how Malfoy was doing this week. You said he had another bad night when we last talked about it, and I wanted to see if he was doing any better since then." Ernie crossed his legs and settled his hand on his knee. Hermione felt he looked way too comfortable for only wanting to be there for a minute.

She blinked slowly thinking about how best to answer. Draco had indeed had another bad night—not as bad as the last though. She had found him standing on the balcony in the pouring rain. She had just finished showering and was going to bed when she decided to check on him before bed. Hermione had been able to coax him back into the flat and into a hot shower (clothes on mind you), but he refused to talk to her. He kept repeating, "I'm so sorry, Astoria. So sorry." Hermione asked him what he meant but he would only shake his head. After warming him up with the shower, he seemed more responsive and was able to dress himself and go to bed. Hermione had been unable to sleep after that, so she grabbed her newest book and sat by his bedside reading all night. Luckily, Draco slept the rest of the night without any problems, but the incident still stuck in her mind. She still wanted to know what he was sorry about and why it had upset him so much.

Finally, Hermione shrugged and told Ernie, "He seems better. No incidents. Actually, he's been sleeping more—getting five or six hours versus the three or four he was getting before. I'm not sure what brought about the change, but we have a sit down coming up in a day or so where I intend to find out." She grabbed her purse out of the drawer in her desk and stood up this time. "Now, I have a date with a shower and my bed I don't want to miss."

Ernie stood up too but did not move towards the door. "Actually, I wanted to ask you something else. Speaking of dates, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to grab a drink at the Leaky Cauldron sometime. Maybe we could go next Friday?"

This is what Hermione had been trying to avoid for some time now. She knew that Ernie was itching to get her to go out with him, but she had no intention of that. She liked keeping her work and social life separate; especially with everything going on in her life. She really didn't need a relationship right now. She didn't even really need a social life to be honest. Unless she said yes, there was no way to make Ernie happy. It was better just to bite the bullet and get it over with.

"Oh, Ernie, thank you for the offer. Unfortunately, I don't date coworkers. It makes for bad situations. I value your friendship and I don't want to ruin that." She gave a sad sort of smile and hoped he would take the bait. Inside her head she was screaming to just get out of the situation.

Ernie shuffled his feet and ran a hand through his hair causing it to stand up in an unattractive way. "Well, it was worth a shot." He smiled and playfully shook her shoulder. She tried not to look irritated with the fact that he touched her. "Just do me a favor and try and get Malfoy to meet with me soon, okay? All will be forgiven." With that he gave her one more smile and left her office. With a sigh of relief, Hermione slouched against the wall. _All will be forgiven_. What the hell did that mean? This was why she refused to date coworkers…it never ended well. Gathering her thoughts, Hermione left her office and headed to the Apparation point to return home.

…

Draco was bored. Hermione was due home at any moment and he already had dinner ready. A lovely lasagna and crisp salad were set on the table with a spell to keep them ready to eat without getting cold or wilted. Draco had even done the dishes—by hand. He was now standing looking outside at the balcony. He hadn't been back out there since Hermione had found him the other night. Not that he didn't want to or that she had asked him to, but simply because he didn't want to think about what he had on his mind that night. That was difficult though as he found himself reliving that night over and over again.

_For some reason he hadn't been able to stop thinking about kissing Hermione. He could hear her upstairs in the shower and all he wanted to do was go and join her. Of course this thought was preposterous. Draco Malfoy taking a shower with bloody Hermione Granger. Unheard of. Despite his best effort to get the wild haired woman from his mind, Draco found that he just couldn't. It seemed an impossible task. So to try and get these ridiculous thoughts out of his head, Draco had walked straight out into the cold, pouring rain and stood staring at the street below. _

_He eventually closed his eyes and began to remember Astoria. He tried to recall a time when he and Astoria had taken a shower together, and couldn't. Had they ever even done that? He was certain they had. If so, had it been passionate or was it just a simple shower? Why couldn't he remember? And most importantly, why, as he was trying to imagine his late wife naked in the shower, could he only picture Hermione's body under the spray of warm water? The rain was freezing, and it was starting to freeze him as well. A simple warming spell would do the trick, but he had no desire to warm up. He was a bloody scoundrel; imagining his Healer doing despicable things with him instead of his wife. Late wife. Astoria was dead. Dead. Gone forever. _

"_I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry."_

_And then he felt warm hands on his shoulders guiding him away from the balcony edge. It was Hermione. She was saying something while trying to get him inside the door, but all he could do was keep repeating the same words over and over and over again. "I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry." Then, there was warmth all around him, but he was still wet. Hot water was cascading around him and Hermione was there. In the shower._

"_I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry."_

_He couldn't say anything else no matter how hard he tried. After the water stopped falling, Hermione left him alone in the bathroom with a warm towel and a set of dry pajamas. He went through the motions of stripping off his soaked clothing, drying, and redressing without really paying attention. _

"_I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry."_

_He went to bed, but didn't fall asleep until Hermione had settled herself next to his bed with a book. Finally, he closed his eyes and let sleep take him; one last time uttering, "I am so sorry, Astoria. So sorry," before falling asleep._

He was better since then. He didn't know what had changed. All he knew was that he could sleep a bit better, and he wasn't as sad as he had been. He was still grieving, that hadn't changed, but he did feel a bit lighter when waking up each morning. It was easier to deal with everyday life. It was easier to imagine that he would never see his wife—late wife—again. There was still a long road to go (stupid Muggle saying), but he felt more prepared. Hermione really was helping him. If only he could stop having feelings for her, then he would be all set.

Turning away from the balcony door, Draco made his way back to the kitchen where dinner was set up. They had not eaten in the dining room since Scorpius had been there, so they were back to eating in the kitchen. With it being just the two of them, meals would be quick affairs normally, but for some reason—most likely the boredom—Draco had felt the need to prepare a larger dinner for the two of them. Either way, Hermione had been at the hospital for two days, and she was most likely looking forward to relaxing when she got home. Just as he was about to sit down, Draco heard the front door open. Footsteps were heard from the hallway, and then Hermione appeared in the doorway looking tired but with a smile on her face.

"What smells so good?" She asked plopping down in her usual seat. Draco undid the sustaining spell and sat down as well.

"Just a simple salad and lasagna," he replied while scooping some onto her plate. "I thought you might need something good after working two days straight."

She nodded. "After the days I had, I need more than just a good meal—but this is amazing. Thank you, Draco." She smiled and began to eat, leaving Draco to quietly wonder what she meant by her comment. Probably alcohol, but it didn't stop Draco from wishing she meant other things. Okay, seriously, Draco was not over these strange new feelings. He took a drink of water and tried to refocus his thoughts. Hermione had a lot going on and she didn't need him talking about feelings he may or may not have for her.

They exchanged idle chit chat while they ate, but overall it was a quiet dinner. Both were more interested in their thoughts. Afterwards, Hermione wanted to clear up, but Draco insisted she go and get a shower and relax. "Besides," he said, "I have nothing else to do." Hermione shook her head with a smile.

"You are too good to me, Draco." She walked out of the room but quickly stuck her head back in, "You could go back to work, you know?" Then, she was gone. Back to work? That was certainly something to think about. He had been sending an owl to his employees and clients to check in occasionally, but he had never really thought about going back. The grief had been so intense at first that he had no desire to work at the company he and his wife had rebuilt after the War. His father had let the family fortune and company dwindle during the second rise of the Dark Lord. Astoria had been so keen on helping Draco rebuild the empire. He had loved that about her. She was always so willing to work and lend a helping hand. She was completely different from any other Pureblood Slytherin he knew. That would also be her downfall as it were.

Draco had much to think about, so he cleaned up dinner with his wand rather than by hand. Then, he retired to his room and sat on the bed to do his thinking. Maybe he would go into the office tomorrow. With him out of the flat, Hermione would get some time to herself for once. He owed her that much. With a chuckle, Draco laid back and allowed his thoughts to drift him to sleep.

…

Hermione had not been surprised to find Draco asleep after she had gotten out of the shower the night before. What _had_ surprised her was that he went into work today. She had been sitting reading _The Daily Profit_ and having her morning tea when Draco had walked into the living room, told her he was going to work, and then left without another word. She had smiled for a good hour at the progress he had made—progress that she had helped him achieve. Originally, she had planned a sit down session for later in the day, but now that would have to wait until after her next two day shift. Ernie would just have to deal with that. She smirked at the thought.

"Oh, Merlin. He's rubbing off on me," Hermione mumbled as she got up to take her cup into the kitchen. Smirking was not a normal occurrence for her. It didn't matter though. Smirking was not a bad habit really. She could handle a bit of smirking. After cleaning the morning dishes, Hermione decided she might as well clean the rest of the house too. The morning merged into the early afternoon, and by mid-afternoon Hermione was done with the major cleaning. All that was left was to organize her office/Draco's room. She felt a bit weird going into the room without its current resident there, but it had been ages since she had reorganized her bookshelves.

That is exactly what she was doing when there was a rustle behind her. She whirled around, wand at the ready, only to find Ron standing in the doorway. All the air rushed out of her lungs at the angry look on his face. It was good thing she had her wand ready, or maybe that was a bad thing.

"Cleaning your prisoner's room, I see." Ron crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. Hermione scowled and asked, "What are you doing here, Ronald? Uninvited no less." She took a few steps back to ensure there was enough space between the two of them.

"I was just coming to hand deliver the new custody papers I had my lawyer draw up." He handed her a sealed envelope. "I apologize that it took so long. My lawyer wanted to make sure the papers were very specific in my regards. There should be no loopholes to be found you'll see."

Hermione didn't know what to say, so she made to open the envelope. However, Ron stopped her. "Oh don't bother. I'm leaving." And sure enough, he turned and walked back down the hall. Hermione stood there until she heard the _whoosh_ of the Floo and then her knees gave out. Luckily, Draco's bed was right behind her or she would have hit the floor pretty hard. She sat there for a good while before getting the nerve to actually open the envelope. The worst part about the whole thing: Ron was right. The papers were indeed very well done. They stated so many personal details about her life that Hermione felt herself blushing at times. If she didn't go along with his wishes this time, there was bound to be a large trial—a large trial that the _Profit_ and every other Wizarding publisher would want to over.

Basically, Hermione was fucked.

It was a good thing that she had a fresh bottle of Firewhiskey hidden under her bed.

…

Draco's day at the office had gone exceptionally well. He was surprised, really, at how welcoming everyone had been. He had even managed to get most of the papers in the "In" box on his desk into the "Out" box. It was fairly late in the evening when he had finally left the office and headed towards the exit. Normally he would just Floo home or Apparate, but tonight he decided to walk. It was only a few miles to the Leaky Cauldron, and the evening was fairly mild for an evening in late October. Finally, arriving back at the flat, Draco was surprised to find how dark it was. He could have sworn Hermione would be home. He had hoped they could order some Thai food for dinner before she headed back to the hospital for her shift.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside quickly, shutting the door behind him quietly in case Hermione already was asleep. Feeling for his wand in his sleeve, Draco allowed his senses to do the work in the darkness. It had been a long time since he had felt this uneasy…

All appeared quiet on the main floor. He crept past the dining room and kitchen until he was at his bedroom door. "Lumos," he whispered to light his wand. Peering inside, he was surprised to find the room a complete disaster. Books were scattered all over the floor. A lamp was shattered on the floor. And there was a crumpled up envelope right by his foot. He bent over and picked the paper up, but before he could see what the front said, he noticed something peculiar. Out of everything that was destroyed in the room, there was only one thing was left undisturbed: his bed.

Draco's brow crinkled with confusion but he turned his attention back to the crumpled paper in his hand. Smoothing it out, he read the front: Hermione J. Granger. That was all it said. He could tell that it had been crumpled up in a fit of anger. The mess of his room indicated that as well. Stuffing the envelope into his pocket, he turned and headed up the stairs to the second level of the flat.

It was eerily quiet and dark as he reached the landing. Hugo and Rose's bedroom doors were shut as they always were. The bathroom door was ajar but Hermione was not inside. Draco's heart seemed incredibly loud as he neared her bedroom door. He suspected what he might find inside, but he was not ready for what was awaiting him.

Swallowing, Draco gently pushed open the door. The room was trashed like his had been, but this was worse. The curtains were ripped to shreds. Photo frames torn from the wall. Glass was shattered on the floor. What scared Draco the most was the smell. The room smelled of blood and vomit. Using the light from the tip of his wand, Draco entered the room and looked around.

All the air seemed to rush from his lungs as he spotted Hermione.

She was laying on the floor as if she had fallen off the bed. Her hands were covered in dried blood and her feet were too. She had fallen into a puddle of her own vomit. Draco ran to her side dropping his wand next to himself as he fell to his knees.

"Hermione!"

His knees landed in crushed glass, but he didn't care.

"Oh, Merlin, Hermione you have to wake up." He gathered her in his arms and shook her as hard as he could. He did this three times before she cracked her eyelids.

"Draco."

It was barely a whisper but it was something. He hugged her body close trying to get her warm. She felt so cold in his arms.

"Draco." She said again. Her hand came up to his face and ran across his cheek. She brought it to her face. It was only then that he noticed he was crying. Her hand was covered in his tears. His tears were making the dried blood on her hand begin to run, but he could barely see it because now he was sobbing.

"Hermione, what have you done?" He said using his shoulder to wipe his eyes, he tried to control his ragged breathing. She needed him to calm the fuck down.

She struggled to keep her head upright so Draco put his hand behind it to help keep it steady…just like he did when Scorpius was a baby.

"Drank two bottles of firewhiskey." She slurred as her eyes went shut again.

"But you've done that before." It wasn't pretty, but it was the truth. "Come on, you have to stay awake. You can't fall asleep right now. You need help."

She shook her head. "Pills."

Draco's pure blood ran cold.

"What? What did you just say?" He asked getting his face as close to hers as possible so that he could hear her answer.

Hermione's eyes opened a crack and her brown eyes glistened with tears of her own. "I took pills. Two bottles." She blinked, slowly, but opened her eyes again. "I can't do it anymore. He won. He's going to take them away. Rose. Hugo. My babies."

Draco shook his head. "No. No, you are not doing this." Hermione's eyes closed then, and her head fell back against his hand. Draco screamed, "HERMIONE!"

"SHIT" He cradled her body in his arms and stood up. She was like a rag doll in his arms. He didn't have much time. She might have puked up the pills, but she had drank two entire bottles of firewhiskey on top of them. She needed to get to the ER and fast.

Draco ran down the stairs and out the door of the flat into the street. It had started to rain, but that didn't stop him. He ran as fast as he could while carrying Hermione. It wasn't until he reached the main road that he realized he'd left his wand behind. It didn't matter. He knew they didn't live far from a Muggle hospital so he ran there. He only saw a few Muggles as he went. All the while he kept mumbling to Hermione.

"Stay with me."

"You're going to be okay."

"I'm getting you help."

"Please, Rose and Hugo need their mother."

Hermione remained lifeless in his arms. The woman behind the desk screamed when he barged into the ER and collapsed on the floor. He didn't blame her really. They were both soaking wet and the blood and vomit that had been on Hermione has managed to find its way onto him.

"Sir, can I help you?" She asked coming round to stand in front of him.

He looked up into her eyes. His chest was heaving and his heart was aching. Draco said, "Please, I think she's dying. Save her."

What happened next was a blur. The nurses and doctors went into action putting Hermione on a gurney and getting ready to take her back to wherever it was the Muggles would do what they needed to do to save her.

He stood slowly and looked down into the face he had grown to know so well over the past few months. Just as the Doctor was telling him he had to get out of the way, Hermione opened her eyes.

"Draco." She whispered.

He leaned towards her. He didn't know what he wanted to hear her say, but he knew he was hooked. There was no going back. This was it.

"Help."

Her eyes closed and the doctors wheeled her away. All Draco could do was stare after where they had gone. He didn't even notice when the nurse put a warm blanket around his shoulders.

He had thought he felt empty after Astoria died.

That was nothing compared to this moment.


	9. Heavy in Your Arms

**Author's Note**: I suppose I owe everyone an apology for having you wait nearly two years for an update. Honestly, I was going through some depression and family issues. Now I am busy with grad school, but I have some time this summer to write, so I want to at least try and get one of my stories finished. I hope that you enjoy my writing. I am also looking for a beta to read though my chapters after I edit them to weed out mistakes that I miss (I am known to miss many of my own mistakes!). Hopefully there are not too many errors in this! Anyways, enjoy this chapter! I worked really hard to get this done today for all of you! It's getting good!

**Disclaimer**: All this wonderfulness belongs to the fantastic J.K. Rowling…well, except the plot.

_**Letting It All Go**_

Chapter Nine: Heavy in your Arms

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"_And is it worth the wait;  
All this killing time?  
Are you strong enough to stand,  
Protecting both your heart and mine?"  
—Florence and the Machine_

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thirsty.

That was all she could think about. Her head felt so heavy, but she could feel a soft pillow behind it. She needed to open her eyes and figure out where she was and how she could get something to drink. Before she could do that, though, she needed to assess herself.

Thirsty. Throat was raw—either from thirst or when she puked. Oh. She puked a lot. All those pills. That explained her stomach pain as well. She suspected her stomach had been pumped. Probably to get any of the pills that remained, as well as the fire whiskey that she had tried to drink in order to keep the pills going down her throat.

She knew she wasn't at home in her own bed. She knew this for the simple fact that she could hear the "beep beep" of medical machines that were keeping track of her vitals. What hospital she was at remained to be seen. She wasn't ready to be awake just yet.

On top of the raw throat and stomach pain, she could feel where the glass from broken picture frames and whiskey bottles had cut into her skin. Her hands were wrapped in gauze as were her feet and knees. It helped that she was a Healer. She knew exactly how to diagnose herself.

Alcoholic.

Depressed.

Suicidal.

Fucked.

With a sigh of irritation, Hermione finally opened her eyes and blinked in the semi darkness of the hospital room. Glancing around, she knew immediately she wasn't in St. Mungo's. There was a Muggle television on the wall and the scenery out the window was of Muggle London. The light out of the window indicated early morning. It had to be around five or six. It was raining.

Rain. She remembered rain. Someone running through the rain and whispering to her. She shook her head to try and clear it a bit, but that only made it ache. Add possible concussion to the list. Trying to sit up was difficult with her wrapped hands, but she managed. Glancing around she noted that she was alone in the room; the other bed was unoccupied. Hermione tried to swallow again, but her mouth was much too dry,

Dehydrated.

She was just about to hit the buzzer for a nurse to come and help her, when the door opened and a body slid inside. She sat up straight and squinted in the semi darkness to see who it was.

Draco stood in the doorway, light from the hallway spilling around him. He looked exhausted and there were dark circles under his eyes. His clothes were wrinkled…and…bloody? Oh.

"Dra—" She tried to speak but her raw throat prevented her from finishing his name.

Draco walked into the room and handed her a cup of ice chips. He then promptly sat in the chair next to her bed and folded his arms across his chest. Raising his eyebrows, Draco gestured towards the cup in her hand. "Eat those."

She tore her gaze away from the blond and tipped some of the ice into her mouth. It was heaven. The cool ice melted in her mouth and slid down her throat slowly. The rawness began to dissipate. She wanted to say something to him. Anything. She glanced back up at him again but the look on his face indicated that he would wait for her to finish.

What had happened? Why was he covered in blood? Was it her blood? His? Where were they? How long had she been asleep? Was he mad?

_Did he hate her?_

The last question was surprisingly the one she wanted answered the most. She finished her ice chips and placed the cup on the table to her right, getting tangled in her IV at the same time. She untangled herself and took a deep breath fully intending to start asking her questions. She never got the chance.

"I can't even for one minute begin to understand what the _hell_ you were thinking, Granger."

Granger. He _was_ mad.

She dropped her gaze from his smoldering silver eyes to her hands in her lap. She was ashamed. Here she was trying her best to save Draco from killing himself over the death of Astoria, and she goes and does something like this. She would be lucky to ever be taken seriously in the medical field again. She was probably fired.

"Hermione, are you even listening to me?" Draco asked leaning forward and touching her wrist. She looked back up at him and shook her head, tears springing to her eyes. He had continued talking while she berated herself.

"Sorry. I got lost in my thoughts."

"Damn it, Granger. You have to take this seriously."

Draco ran a hand across his face and Hermione found she couldn't find the words she needed to express how bad she felt. "What happened?"

A bark of laughter that didn't sound the least bit amused erupted from him. "You're kidding me right? You know what you tried to do."

She shook her head, stopping immediately because it made her head hurt. "No, let me rephrase. How did we get here? Where is here?"

"Muggle hospital. I have no idea what it's called."

She nodded. "How long was I asleep?"

Draco sighed and fell back into his chair. He stared at her for a minute before speaking again. "If you had gone to work instead of drinking yourself into oblivion, you would have been home a day ago."

Her eyes widened at the realization of what he just said. "Three days! I have been here for three days!" Hermione began to panic. She was most definitely in trouble now. Chief Healer Devon would ask for her resignation, or worse, he would just fire her for not showing up.

Draco stood from the chair and moved to sit on the edge of her bed. "Please stop panicking, Hermione. Your machines are going insane."

_Hermione_. That was better.

He was right, though. The minute he had told her how long she'd been here, her vitals had gone off the handle. She reached for his hand, and he allowed her to hold it. Immediately she felt better. Laying back against the pillow, Hermione closed her eyes and tried to breathe normally. Just having Draco this close to her was a relief. His presence calmed her. She opened he eyes and looked into his worried ones.

"I'm sorry."

He squeezed her hand in response. She gave him a small smile. She really was sorry. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. Now it all seemed like a crazy ass dream. She had a lot of work to do now; on him and herself. That was if he even wanted her help anymore. It felt like she was relying more on Draco than he was relying on her these days. Maybe it was time for him to move on.

Hermione wanted to talk with him more—she still had questions to ask—but just then a doctor came into the room.

"Mrs. Malfoy? Hello, I'm Dr. Watson. There are some things we need to discuss." He opened her file and began sorting through the documents inside.

Hermione opened her mouth to correct the man, but Draco stood and cleared his throat. "I'll let you talk to my wife alone." To her he said, "I'll be out in the waiting room. I called Harry and Ginny. They should be here soon." He squeezed her hand as if to say, "Go with it."

Completely baffled, Hermione could only nod at Draco as he released her hand and strode from the room, shutting the door behind him. Shaking her head a bit to clear it, she turned her attention to her doctor.

"How much trouble am I in, doctor?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Draco was only sitting in the nearly empty waiting room for about ten minutes, when he saw Ginny and Harry turn the corner and enter the area. He stood and attempted to smooth his clothes as he strode towards the pair. Ginny looked a worried mess while Harry just looked confused.

"Malfoy. What happened?" He asked as Draco stopped in front of them.

Draco shook his head. "First things first; did you bring me a change of clothes?"

Ginny rolled he eyes and handed him a bag. "Here. Now answer the question."

Tucking the bag of clothes under his arm, he gestured towards the seating area. The couple followed him and they all sat down. He quickly filled them in on what had happened. Ginny started to cry at one point and Harry even looked close to tears himself. When he had finished, Harry stood up angrily.

"You didn't bother to get in contact with us for THREE days?" He began to pace. "My best friend was lying in a hospital bed with the doctors uncertain if she would even wake up, and you didn't bother to contact me?" The raven haired man stopped in front of his old nemesis waiting for an answer.

Draco sighed. He knew this was going to go over well. "I didn't know how to get in touch with you!" He grabbed the bag of clothes and stood up to face Harry. "I left behind my wand and Hermione didn't have her little phone on her. Once I knew she was going to be alright, I asked the nurse to help me find your number. I didn't want to worry anyone unless it was absolutely necessary." He stepped around the shocked man, and began to walk away. Over his shoulder he added, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a shower and a change of clothes. Thanks, Weasley, for getting these for me."

Stunned, Ginny simply said, "You're welcome."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Fifteen minutes later, Draco returned to Hermione's room to find Harry and Ginny inside. He was just about to turn around and leave, when Harry gestured him inside. He entered wearily. It was always uncomfortable when he was around her friends. He never really knew how to act. He didn't really dislike any of them anymore, well, except Ron, but he certainly wasn't "friends" with any of them either.

Draco went to take a seat in the corner, but Hermione reached for him. He couldn't very well deny her in front of the Potter's, so he settled himself on the side of her bed. Ginny was telling her about the letter she had sent Rose and Hugo.

"I just wanted them to know you were alright. I didn't really go into the details." She fidgeted with her hands a bit before continuing. "They know you're in the hospital, but that you'll be coming home within the next day or two."

Hermione sighed and Draco looked down into her face. She looked miserable. She was putting on a brave face after what she had done. She was much more put together than he ever was after a suicidal episode. He glanced back up and noticed Harry looking at him questioningly. Draco stood back up.

"Harry, let's give the ladies time to talk. I need a coffee or tea, and you have money."

Harry nodded and moved for the door. Draco let his hand rest on Hermione's shoulder for a second before exiting the room. The two men walked towards the vending machines to keep up the pretense of getting beverages. Once there, Harry handed Draco some money. Instead of putting it in the coffee machine, he turned and looked at Harry.

"I'm falling in love with her."

"Shit." Harry ran a hand through his already messy hair. "This is obviously not the greatest time in the world, Malfoy."

He slammed his fist into the machine causing a few passerby to look at him strangely, but Draco didn't care. "Don't you think I already know that? She's my therapist Healer, damn it. It just sort of happened!"

Harry shook his head and sighed. "What does she think about this? Have you told her?"

"No. She has no idea." Draco leaned against the wall and decided to tell the whole truth. "I kissed her while she was sleeping once." He slid down the wall and sat in a heap on the floor. Letting out a low whistle, Harry joined him, letting his head thud lightly against the wall.

"You kissed Hermione."

"Yes."

"She doesn't know?"

"She was drinking and fell asleep."

"Does she drink a lot? You know, more than she tells all of us?" Harry tilted his head to look at Draco who nodded.

"Almost every night. She's been a lot better lately, but it's not good. She has a serious problem. She needs help." Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt like crying. "I take care of her."

"Shit. I've never really talked to her about the situation. Ron didn't really go into details when he divorced her. I was a bit surprised when she didn't fight him over it."

"Ron is fighting for full custody. Did you know that?" Draco opened his eyes and reached into his pocket. He withdrew a crumpled, half torn piece of parchment. "I found this in Hermione's items after I brought her here. I think it's what set her off." He handed the paper to Harry and waited in silence as it was read.

"Son of a bitch." Harry read the custody papers a second and third time before turning to Draco. "She's going to lose the kids. Especially if this incident gets out. We have to do something." Harry stood up and gestured that Draco should do the same. Draco stood and followed Harry back towards Hermione's room. He stopped short nearly knocking over a nurse as Harry suddenly turned towards him.

"I'm not sure right now is the best time to tell Hermione that you love her."

Draco swallowed. "I'm fully aware of that. That's why as soon as she is safely home, I am packing and moving back to the Manor." He threw his hands up into the air. "I'll find a way to deal with my demons on my own so that maybe Hermione can get rid of hers."

Harry did something Draco wasn't expecting then—he stepped forward and enveloped him in a hug. Reluctantly, Draco returned the hug. It actually felt nice to have human contact for once. Harry released him and stepped back, tears in his eyes. "I know you've been to hell and back a number of times, Malfoy, but you are a good man." With a smile and a shake of his head he continued, "If the timing was better, I'd say you and Hermione would be perfect for each other."

"Thanks, Potter."

Harry reached out his hand and stared at Draco with his eyebrows raised. With a smirk, Draco clasped his hand with Harry's and they shook on a new friendship. Draco just hoped that Hermione would be okay.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The next day, Hermione was set to be released sometime after lunch. She was more than ready to get out of this place. Not that she was very hungry, but the food was horrible. She spent enough time in a hospital as it was. Ginny had brought her fresh clothes the day before so she had been able to shower and get cleaned up this morning. Now, she was just sitting on the bed staring out the window watching the rain. The longer she was here, the more of a chance that Ron would find her. If she was lucky she might be able to keep this under wraps.

Unfortunately, that might be more difficult than originally thought. This was all thanks to Ernie showing up early this morning. She had just gotten out of the shower and settled back onto the bed when he had come barging in the room. He had said how he'd gotten Draco's letter about her being ill, but had wanted to come and check to make sure she was alright. She didn't believe that for a second. He had wanted to see exactly what was wrong. She suspected that he had taken a look at her chart while she was showering.

She pretended that she had just been overworked, but she could tell he knew more just by the snide little smile on his fat face. Hopefully he wouldn't stress the issue though. She had told him she'd be back to work next week and everything would be fine. She just needed to get home and have a few days to relax. He'd told her not to worry too much about it. That hadn't sounded good, but she kept the smile on her face. As he was leaving he'd said he'd see her real soon…which also didn't sound good.

Honestly, at this point all she could think about was that damn letter from Ron's lawyer. She knew Draco was keeping hold of it. Actually, he might have given it to Harry. She had no idea. Last night he and Harry had returned from "getting drinks" with a plan in mind. She wasn't happy about it either. It wasn't going to work. She was doomed really. Those custody papers were…well she didn't have a good chance at this point. Harry insisted that if they could keep this hospital stay a secret, she might have a chance.

That was laughable.

He was supposed to go and talk to Ron today about the entire issue. Ginny was going too. They hoped that the pair of them might be able to talk some sense into the man. Hermione doubted it. That was the thing about Ron; when he got an idea in his mind, he went full force forward with it. Hermione would lose custody of Rose and Hugo before Christmas at this point. Sure, Rose would be free to see her once the Trace was taken off of her at the end of the year, but it would be years before she could see Hugo again.

Swallowing the lump in her throat and wiping the tears from her eyes, Hermione turned her head to stare at Draco. He was completely engulfed in some book he had purchased at the bookstore down the street. She had wished he'd been here this morning when Ernie arrived, but he had gone out to buy a book about custody battles. Now he was reading like he was going to go blind tomorrow. She wished he would talk to her. He still seemed to be mad at her and that hurt more than the ulcers in her mouth.

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again and opted for just laying on her side staring at this beautiful, loyal version of the cold and hateful Draco she used to know. She was supposed to be the one being strong. He was supposed to be leaning on her, but instead here she was, relying on him to carry her through this mess she'd gotten herself into. The worst part, she had no idea whether or not he was strong enough to do this.

Was he strong enough to _love_ again?

Was he strong enough to love _her_?

Hermione sat straight up in bed at that thought, her heart pounding in her chest. She squeezed the sheets between her fingers and gasped.

Draco had looked up from the book and hurried to her side, setting the book on the table.

"What is it? Are you okay? Are you in pain, Hermione?"

She shook her head. "No. No, I'm alright. I just…thought of something."

"Should I get Dr. Watson?" He asked as he sat down on the bed.

Hermione tried to relax, but couldn't. To distract him, she asked if he could get her some ice chips. He agreed and left the room which suddenly felt like it was closing in around Hermione.

Rubbing her face with both hands she curled into a ball and let her thoughts take over,

She loved him.

She, Hermione Granger, _loved_ Draco Malfoy.

Oh, this was not good. And yet, it explained so much. She had felt stirrings for a while, but had ignored them. Now, she knew why she wanted him to stay with her at the flat: she needed him because she loved him. How did she let this happen? Did he know? Did he feel the same? She couldn't do this. She would weigh him down with all the drama that was going on her life. He didn't need this. He didn't need her! Fuck, he was still mourning the loss of Astoria! Good Godric she had just found him in the pouring down rain on the balcony a little over a week ago muttering about how sorry he was to her!

Laying there in utter terror at her revelation, she was relieved when Draco returned without the ice chips, but with Dr. Watson who informed her she was all set to leave.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When they arrived back in the flat, Hermione felt a bit of relief, but at the same time, she was now one hundred percent alone with Draco. There was no one left to buffer between them. She couldn't avoid talking to him anymore.

"I'm going to put your bag upstairs. Are you okay to make some tea?" Draco asked her, stopping in the doorway to the hall.

She nodded and headed into the kitchen and filled the kettle up in the sink before returning it to stove. She sat on her usual stool at the island and waited for Draco to return from upstairs. Hermione had to think and quick. Should she mention her feelings to Draco or should she just ask him to leave without acknowledging it? Either way, Draco needed to leave. He couldn't stay here anymore. Not because she didn't want him here, but because it was unethical for her to continue treating him feeling the way she did.

Before she could really make her decision, Draco retuned. The kettle went off at the same time so he gestured for her to stay seated as he prepared their cups of tea. Hermione watched silently as he did all of this. Her throat felt dry and her stomach was in knots. Draco went to set the tea cups on the counter but stopped at the last second.

"Come on, let's go sit in the living room. It's more comfortable."

He led the way and they both sat on the couch. Draco placed the tea cups on the coffee table and turned so he was facing her. She turned to face him as well, already forgetting about the tea.

"Tell me what's wrong, Granger."

Hermione blinked slowly, not quite knowing where to start. "This is too much for you to deal with right now."

"Yes."

"I think that maybe it might be a good idea for you to leave…" She hated that she had to say these words, but it was the right thing to do. She didn't need to drag him down with her. He had been doing so well.

"Why do you think that?" Draco leaned forward so he was brushing up against her side on the couch. "I agree, but I'm not sure it's for the same reason."

Hermione was confused by his words. She swallowed and twisted her hands in her lap. "Draco…you have been so good to me. You have been so strong, but I am the one that was supposed to be strong for you. Instead, you were the one carrying me, literally, at times."

"As true as that might be, I am not upset with you over all of this." He took her hand in his and intertwined their fingers. Hermione shivered at the touch and wet her dry lips.

"What are you feeling, exactly, Draco?"

"It's not important. I'm leaving in the morning."

She was shocked and jerked backwards. "What? So soon?"

"I have cherished all of my time here with you, Hermione. You have helped me in ways I didn't think possible, but it's time for me to go. For you and…for me."

Draco stood up and walked to the window and Hermione could only stare in shock at the back of his head. She knew he had to go—she did—but she thought they still had time. She didn't want to do this now. She needed time to process.

"_I think I might love you_."

It was whispered, but it was out there and she couldn't take it back.

Hermione watched as Draco's shoulders caved and heard him sigh. His hand came up to run through his hair. He was shaking his head as he turned around. She was standing now, though she couldn't remember when she got up from the couch. Possibly when she'd spoken.

"Hermione, no, please…you can't."

She stood there, her hands facing up. "I think I might."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Draco replied, "I'm leaving not because of what happened, or because you might…love…me, but because I already know that I am falling in love with you."

Hermione felt warmth spread from her chest to the tips of her fingers and toes and then to her face. Draco loved her. This was quite unexpected. She suspected he cared for her, but not like this. The declaration was not unwanted. This would make things easier if there were no other strings attached to their situation, but that was not the case. They couldn't really be together.

"You're over thinking this aren't you?"

"I might be." She shrugged.

They stared at each other—brown eyes locked on silver. Hermione wet her lips again and Draco took a step forward. She jerked backwards suddenly scared of what might happen.

"What—What are you doing?"

"Hold still." Draco whispered against her lips.

And then, he kissed her.

His lips felt cool against hers. She felt on fire as her hands fluttered up to his neck and slid into the soft blond hair at the nape of his neck. She moaned as he pulled their bodies closer, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth to run against hers. She was lost in his touch. His smell. His _everything_. Her body was on fire and it felt heavy in his arms. She hadn't been with a man in so long. She had almost forgotten how magical just kissing could be. Oh, but this was magical all right. She could feel their magic coursing around them as the kiss deepened and she finally had to jerk her head away to catch her breath.

Breathing heavily, she looked at him. His hair was ruffled from her hands moving through it and his lips were a bright pink. She wanted to kiss him again.

So she did.

The second kiss was just as amazing as the first, and she felt Draco push her against the living room wall. Hermione let her head fall back as Draco's mouth found its way to her neck. She reached for the buttons on his shirt at the same time he went to take off her shirt. She stopped her movements so she could help him lift the shirt over her head. His hands cupped her breasts and he gently flicked his thumbs over her hardening nipples. Hermione groaned in response and grabbed his head to pull him down for another heated kiss.

At this point, Hermione said, "Fuck it," to his shirt and went for his jeans instead. Just as she managed to undo the button and zipper the Floo made a "whoosh" sound causing the pair to turn their heads to look back across the room.

Harry stepped out of the fireplace and brushed the soot off his robes. When he spotted the two panting against the wall he blushed bright red and exclaimed, "Damn it, you two! This is not the time for that!" He threw a paper across the room to Malfoy, who managed to catch it. "Ron found out about the suicide attempt. He's gone to the paper."

All the blood drained from Hermione's head as she looked at the paper in Draco's hands. The headline read:

"_Hermione Granger: War Hero, Brightest Witch of her Age turned Suicidal Alcoholic."_

Suddenly the room was spinning. Hermione tried to grab onto the wall, but failed. Her body fell to the floor as the sobbing overtook her. A minute later, she passed out.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


End file.
